greensupercedric

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! It’s a blessed day that is all about food, football, and being annoyed by those with political opinions on anything being with family. Isn’t it fun? Well, unless you are working on this day. In which case, I feel ya. That shit sucks, because customers are rude shitheads who should’ve done their shopping the days before, but are too fucking stupid.

Ok, I went on a tangent. How about we talk about football? Let’s go!

Thanksgiving Day Games

DET (+9.5) cover BUF | Bills 27, Lions 24

Usually, the Lions are the butts of the joke on Thanksgiving, and everyone kept saying “Why are they on TV again?” Which, a few weeks ago, they would’ve. But now, they’re on a 3-game winning streak, beating a 7-2 team, and now have a fun matchup against the Bills. This should be fun, Ford Field should be electric, and I can’t wait for it. Maybe the game of the week on a Thanksgiving Day.

DAL (-10) over NYG | Cowboys 31, Giants 20

This is no offense with the score here, Giants fans. I think your team is very good (sans the QB). BUT, you guys got injured alot last week vs. Detroit. And playing after 4 days afterwards, vs. this Cowboys team that just DESTORYED the Vikings? Sorry, Giants fans.

NE (+3) over MIN | Patriots 23, Vikings 20

Hold it. An Upset of the Week, based on spreads on Thanksgiving? And a Patriots team that could barely do shit vs. a Jets team last week who had TWO YARDS OF OFFENSE in the 2nd half last week? Yes. Why? Cause it’s Kirk Cousins in a Primetime game. Do you know how bad he is in these games? That is my main reason here, and I think Bill Belichick figures this out.

Sunday Games

CHI (+6) cover NYJ | Jets 18, Bears 14

Let’s see. Mike White, the now Jets QB, facing a Bears team where Fields has a separated shoulder. Should be alot of fun (read, misery) for both fanbases.

BAL (-4) over JAX | Ravens 34, Jags 26

Maybe, someday, this will be a great match-up of top QBs between Lamar and Lawrence. Maybe if the Jags don’t kill Lawrence first, that is.

ATL (+4.5) cover WAS | Commies 34, Falcons 33

This should be a SAFTG pick. And yet, both these teams have been somewhat entertaining. Hell, the O/U is 41, and I got 67 points here. I think this could be an underrated Game of the Week candidate.

CAR (+2) over DEN | Panthers 17, Broncos 14

Whenever Denver plays, it’s gonna be awful. Whenever Carolina plays, it’s gonna be awful. Combined both, with Sam Darnold starting? STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

TB (-3.5) over CLE | Bucs 23, Browns 14

Browns fans, 1 more game, and you get your sex pes- I mean, your QB in Watson finally playing. Until then, time to enjoy your beatdown from an old friend.

MIA (-13.5) over HOU | Fins 38, Texans 16

Name your score. Cause I think Miami with that offense is gonna put up many points on this team.

CIN (-2) over TEN | Bengals 24, Titans 17

Maybe a good game here? I know the Titans might have some revenge on their mind, since they lost in the playoffs to the same Bengals team, which jumpstarted the run for Burrow and co. Now, it’s an offensively challenged Titans team, vs. a Bengals team who is still getting Burrow killed (sacked 9 times by said Titans team). Should be good for the defense.

LAC (-3) over ARI | Chargers 27, Cards 21

I picked the Chargers here, but I don’t know. This is really a toss-up between them. I really don’t know who will come out on top. The Chargers are injured to shit. The Cards are a mess, in every damn way. Who knows, really.

SEA (-3.5) over LV | Seahawks 33, Raiders 27

Remember at the start of the season many had the Raiders as a potential playoff team, and the Seahawks as the one that is gonna tank to hell this season? Yeah.

NO (+9.5) cover SF | Niners 27, Saints 23

I did this Monday with the ARI/SF game and took the cover, thinking the terrible Cards team would make it close. Now I’m doing it again with the Niners facing a bad Saints team once more. Maybe it’ll pay off 😀

KC (-14.5) over LAR | Chiefs 34, Rams 16

This was supposed to be one of the Games of the Year earlier this year, with the Super Bowl Champs Rams vs. the former champions Chiefs, Mahomes vs. Stafford, the WR play, and McVay vs. Reid. Now, Stafford is concussed to shit, Kupp is out, and the Rams are now looking like a tank team that I hope continues to tank for the Lions draft position that isn’t gonna make LA happy. What should’ve, could’ve, would’ve is done for the Rams.

GB (+6.5) cover PHI | Eagles 30, Packers 27

This was supposed to be one of the Games of the Y-Wait, I said this already. Anyway, Rodgers has a broken thumb, and has had it for a few weeks. Fun right, Packers fans? But, fortunately for them, they are facing an Eagles team that has finally shown some weakness, as they lost to the Commies, and barely escaped the Jeff Saturday-led Colts. I don’t know why, but I think this will be close, and maybe a fun game, even if the QB-can-do-no-wrong is injured.

PIT (+2.5) over IND | Steelers 21, Colts 20

Remember when this match-up would be a great one? Well, it’s a Monday Night game, and ummmm, yeah. Might be the 1st bad MNF game of the year. STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

That’s all. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Last Week: 7-7

Overall Record: 88-76

I’m making this shit at 2 AM. Don’t even ask why

BYES: JAX, TB, SEA, MIA

GB (-3) over TEN

2 more losses, and the Packers will have a losing record. That’s amazing and hilarious lol.

WAS (-3) over HOU | Commies 23, Texans 17

BAL (-13) over CAR | Ravens 34, Panthers 20

CLE (+8) cover BUF | Bills 27, Browns 22

I made this pic before I learned they moved it to Detroit cause of 5-6 feet of snow. Speaking of

DET (+3) cover NYG | Giants 24, Lions 23

Play with house money here. Cause why not?

CHI (+3) cover ATL | Falcons 35, Bears 34

Game of the Day potential, with another painful Burrs loss imo.

PHI (-7) over IND | Eagles 31, Colts 21

NO (-3) over LAR | Saints 21, Rams 17

NE (-3) over NYJ | Patriots 24, Jets 19

Death, Taxes, and Bill Belichick owning the Jetties.

DEN (-3) over LV | Broncos 13, Raiders 9

This game is depressing. Might as well give it a depressing score. STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!! (Pic related)

CIN (-4) over PIT | Bengals 26, Steelers 20

MIN (+1.5) over DAL | Vikings 30, Cowboys 27

Upset of the Week, based on spreads (Yeah, not a big one this week)

KC (-6) over LAC | Chiefs 37, Chargers 27

ARI (+8) cover SF | Niners 30, Cards 24

Last Week: 9-5

Overall Record: 81-69

I got one thing to say

It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? The last picks article I wrote was in Week 5. I was 38-42 in picks from then. Now, since then? I am 34-23, including the ATL/CAR game this Thursday. Maybe I should stop doing this. Or maybe, I should go on once more till I inevitably faulter to shit. Just like Brady and Rodgers.

Anyway, on to Week 10. (Spread lines from Thursday)

Byes: CIN, NE, BAL, NYJ

ATL (-2.5) over CAR

The Falcons were in 1st-place. WERE. And now the Panthers are a game back again from 1st-place again. What a shitfest that is the NFC South. Speaking of

SEA (+2.5) over TB | Seahawks 23, Bucs 17

Good god, Brady looks finished, other than the last minute last week. Meanwhile, Geno Smith looks like a NFL MVP. What timeline did we flip into? Anyway, this game is in Germany, and I won’t watch it cause of work, but hey, I’m all here for the Seahawks. And by that, I mean I’m all for the Offensive Rookie of the Year Kenneth Walker III.

PIT (+1.5) over NO | Steelers 20, Saints 18

I made this pick on Thursday, cause ehhhhh, I don’t know. I now feel better about it cause of TJ Watt returning. Sorry, Andy Dalton.

NYG (-4.5) over HOU | Giants 24, Texans 13

At the beginning of the year? This was a STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!! for sure. Now? The Giants are pretty good, and the Texans …. are still the Texans. But you know what is one?

TEN (-2.5) over DEN | Titans 17, Broncos 13

It’s either an injured Tannehill or a Malik Willis and his shit passing (and I guess Henry, too), vs. LET’S COOK Russell and this Ponies team. STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

MIA (-3.5) over CLE | Fins 34, Browns 29

Weirdly, this game is this low of a spread. Maybe cause the Fins can make it fun, while also not playing defense worth shit. Maybe that should make this a fun game.

DET (+3) over CHI | Lions 31, Bears 28

It was “Fuck the Packers” Week last week, and now it’s “Fuck the Bears” Week. And man, what a week it was last week for Detroit. Mostly from Rodgers’s dad, Kerby Joseph. Now, they get a Bears team who has scored 33, 29, and 32 the last 3 games, as they found out how to unlock Justin Fields’s passi-Er, ummm, his legs. And yet, they are 1-2 in these games, as they have given up 84 points in the last two. I don’t care how much better the Bears have looked recently on offense, I can’t take the Bears at all. Fuck them.

KC (-9.5) over JAX | Chiefs 38, Jags 24

I thought this should have been a larger spread, like 2 TDs. I just don’t like the Jags here. They will probably prove me wrong.

MIN (+3.5) cover BUF | Bills 27, Vikings 26

This is not because I like the Vikings here in this match-up. Cause I don’t. This is all based on how healthy Josh Allen is. He should be good to go, but man, you never know how arm injuries work out.

LV (-6) over IND | Raiders 27, Colts 17

The Raiders are a shitshow. The Colts are a bigger shitshow, with how that Jim Irsey press conference from earlier this week went down. STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

ARI (+1.5) over LAR | Cards 24, Rams 16

Like the Bills game, this is all based on Stafford’s injury. Cause with a concussion, if he gets sacked a bunch, he may look like AB’s pic he made

It’s joke, but know what isn’t? Both these teams suck. It’s not a SAFTG. Unless Stafford doesn’t play, then it is.

DAL (-5) over GB | Cowboys 34, Packers 20

Look at this man. Look at him. Look at how mad and sad he is after putting up 9 points on the worst NFL defense, and throwing 3 picks, as he lost the game himself, and then blamed it on everyone else. It. Is. GLORIOUS. I wish for nothing more than this aging d-bag to fail each and every time. Anyway, Cowboys by 2 TDs.

LAC (+7) cover SF | Niners 30, Chargers 26

Hey, many people are returning for the Niners for this game. And it may be a fun game with how both teams don’t show up at times. I think this will be one with many points here, and a O/U for combined Bosa brother sacks of 3.5.

PHI (-11) over WAS | Eagles 31, Commies 17

Is this it? Is it finally gonna happen? Are we gonna see the end of this reign, once and for all? If you think I’m talking about the Eagles losing, I’m not. I’m talking about Dan Snyder’s ownership of this Washington franchise. DC’s AG is now in play vs. him, Goodell and the NFL, and I expect this won’t end soon. Hopefully, it ends with Snyder’s bum ass going up in flames. Couldn’t happened to a better Commie Commander.

Last Week: 7-6

Overall Record: 72-64

I been sick with a sinus infection all weekend, so here’s some quick picks. (Note: picks made on Thursday, so line changed by then)

IND (+3) cover DEN

What a beautiful duwang. Keep cookin’

NYG (+8) cover GB

On-going in London right now, but yeah

TEN (-2.5) over WAS | Titans 30, Commies 23

TB (-9) over ATL | Bucs 30, Falcons 16

JAX (-7) over HOU | Jags 28, Texans 17

MIN (-7) over CHI | Vikings 24, Bears 13

LAC (-2.5) over CLE | Chargers 31, Browns 23

BUF (-14) over PIT | Bills 34, Steelers 17

DET (+3) cover NE | Patriots 26, Lions 24

SEA (+5.5) cover NO | Saints 23, Seahawks 21

MIA (-3) over NYJ | Fins 24, Jets 20

Dolphins, please don’t be stupid enough to play a twice-concussed Tua.

SF (-6.5) over CAR | Niners 23, Panthers 14

DAL (+5.5) over LAR | Cowboys 30, Rams 27

My Upset of the Week, based on spreads. And one of my biggest spread upset picks, to boot.

PHI (-5.5) over ARI | Eagles 34, Cards 26

CIN (+3) cover BAL | Ravens 28, Bengals 27

KC (-7) over LV | Chiefs 41, Raiders 30

Last Week: 10-6

Overall Record: 30-34

I would talk about the Butt Punt, but I know my boundaries, and won’t step out of bounds there, Dolphins fans. Unlike Jimmy G, heh. Fuck it, on to the picks.

CIN (-3.5) over MIA | Bengals 31, Fins 24

Sure, this game is almost over as I’m writing this. Oh well

MIN (-2.5) over NO | Vikings 23, Saints 17

Our first London game this year. Joy. For those who want to enjoy some sleep before the ruckus starts? Too bad. Anyway, the Saints might be too injured this year to be real good, but they will still get some wins outta their asses like usual. This could actually be one.

NYG (-3) over CHI | Giants 20, Bears 16

Not gonna lie. I went back-and-forth on this game, cause to me, it was a toss-up of who’d win this mid-off. All I know is 2 things: 1. Unless there’s a tie, whoever wins this game will be 3-1. And 2. STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

NYJ (+3) cover PIT | Steelers 17, Jets 16

Want another SAFTG? Here. The Steelers are a mess, and the Jets is business as usual. Maybe it will be better with Wilson back? Probably not?

HOU (+5) cover LAC | Chargers 24, Texans 20

JAX (+6.5) cover PHI | Eagles 30, Jags 28

Two covers here, of very different reasons. God, it’s amazing what changing coaches can do for a team, as the Jags went from looking like pure dogshit that needed years to fix under Urban, to looking like one of the best teams now after 3 weeks under Pederson. And now he faces his old team who he not only led to a Super Bowl win, but may be the best team in the NFC. As for the other game, the Chargers are an injured-filled mess (with a sued doctor to “help them”), and the Texans are ….. yeah. One is gonna be fun to watch, the other won’t.

ATL (+1.5) over CLE | Falcons 27, Browns 24

I know, I know, the Falcons are underdogs, and all their history, and blah blah. However, it’s a home game for them, they are facing the Browns, and Myles Garret may be out for this game cause of his accident. I somehow trust the Brownies less than the Failcons.

DAL (-3) over WAS | Cowboys 27, Commies 17

Ah, the good ole battle that also talks about US History: A bunch of cowboys vs. a bunch of commies. Anyway, Cooper Rush is 3-0 as a starter, and should go to 4-0 vs, this Washington team. And Wentz may not get sacked as much like he did vs. Philly, but it’s not gonna be any prettier here.

DET (-4) over SEA | Lions 27, Seahawks 20

Hey, Dan Campbell. You do know after all that talk about “GRIT” and “not losing like before”, you do realize that if you lose THAT WAY like you did Sunday vs. the Vikings, again against the Seahawks, Lions fans will be calling for your head, right?

TEN (+3.5) over IND | Titans 23, Colts 20

Yes, I know the Colts just beat the Chiefs at home. Yes, I know it’s a home game for them. Yes, I know the Titans nearly blew it to the now 0-3 Raiders. Yes, I know, these two teams should be the best of the AFC South, but suck. That said, my Upset of the Week, based on spreads.

BUF (-3) over BAL | Bills 31, Ravens 26

I thought last week was gonna be a shootout with all the defensive players gone for the Bills. Well, it was a defensive battle vs. the Fins, and it was all cause these two teams played through a fucking sauna called the weather are tough as hell. Now, they get a Ravens team who is also missing alot of their defensive players, but still have Lamar. Allen and Lamar should make for a fun QB battle throughout.

CAR (-1.5) over ARI | Panthers 22, Cards 18

Carolina has a good defense. That may be enough to beat the mess that is the Arizona Cardinals.

LV (-2.5) over DEN | Raiders 20, Broncos 17

A team that has no wins so far, vs. a team that is in 1st place. And the 0-3 team are the favorites. It makes sense, cause both these teams are garbage. STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

GB (-9.5) over NE | Packers 30, Patriots 17

You know, I was a senior when Brian Hoyer was a senior in college at MSU. And by a senior, I mean one in HS. I say this cause, well, enjoy him as your starting QB for maybe a few weeks, Patriots fans.

KC (+1) over TB | Chiefs 26, Bucs 19

Last week sucked for both teams. The Bucs, even with Brady, have no offense at all, but a great defense. The Cheifs lost to the Colts, and Mahomes argued with his OC. So yeah, it wasn’t fun. Or maybe it was for you. Either way, I think I trust Mahomes’s offense a bit more than Brady’s.

LAR (+1.5) over SF | Rams 30, Niners 24

The Niners are favorites here. Did you see how last week went for them vs. the Broncos? This team is not good, and lost one of their best players in Trent Williams, so Aaron Donald might have a feast. I know the Rams have issues as well, but compared to the Niners, they look so much better.

Last Week: 9-7

Overall Record: 20-28

I went 9-7 last week in picks. It was a pretty good week, I say.

At least, that is what I want to say, if not for 4 teams, who COULDN’T HOLD ON TO BIG LEADS!!! The Ravens, Raiders, Browns, and Rams, all 4 had big leads, some very late, and all blew it badly (tho the Rams did win, but they nearly Falcons’d a game vs. the Falcons, ironically enough). So yeah, what should’ve been a good week in picks became bad. Oh well, the Lions won, and are in 1st place, so who fucking cares. On to Week 3. (Note: Picks made on Thursday, so lines may have changed)

PIT (+4) cover CLE

Didn’t get this pick right, but I did pick Cleveland to win, even after that embarrassment to the Jets. Don’t ask.

NO (-3) over CAR | Saints 21, Panthers 16

So Jameis has 4 broken bones in his back or something like that? That …. sounds painful. Shouldn’t affect him in future games, right? Either way, Defense wins for NO.

BAL (-3) over NE | Ravens 24, Patriots 20

A Ravens’ secondary that is injured to hell, vs. a Patricia/Judge-led offense. Hmmmmm. Which side has Lamar again?

WAS (+6.5) cover PHI | Eagles 31, Commies 27

I feel the Eagles should dominate this game, even after they played a Monday Night game. But Wentz garbage-time production is undefeated.

CIN (-5) over NYJ | Bengals 28, Jets 20

A must-win game for the Super Bowl runners-up? It may be actually real. Cause if they lose to the Jets …..

DET (+6) cover MIN | Vikings 27, Lions 26

I would’ve picked Minny either way, cause Kirk Cousins always shows up vs. Detroit. But I feel this spread is too high. This should be a fun game between improving teams (Don’t count Cousins’s MNF game. He sucks in those all the time)

CHI (-2.5) over HOU | Bears 19, Texans 16

It’s Week 3, and it’s finally here. The first one for me, and yeah. STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

TEN (+2) over LV | Titans 27, Raiders 24

KC (-5.5) over IND | Chiefs 38, Colts 21

Ah yes, the AFC South. They are fucking garbage. Like, good news, Jags fans. You are first. But you are on top of the garbage pile, for now. I think 6-11 right now may win this stupid division. The Colts stink and most likely will get steamrolled by KC. The Titans …. I have winning, but that’s cause the Raiders are just as stupid.

MIA (+6) cover BUF | Bills 34, Fins 30

The Game of the Week. No doubt. Both teams may be great, with all the weapons they have. I do have the Bills, cause I trust Allen way more than Tua. BUT, this is a game in Florida in September, and it’s still hot as hell there. Plus, the Bills have 4 players out for this game on defense. It may be a shootout as I have it here.

JAX (+7) cover LAC | Chargers 30, Jags 24

Did you know? The Chargers have the same doctor on the team who is being sued by Tyrod Taylor for how he treated him, and now is treated Herbert’s ribs. How well will that go? Anyway, should be an interesting game.

LAR (-3.5) over ARI | Rams 34, Cards 24

So was last week a fluke comeback or not? Who will prevail here? Both teams have their issues, but I’ll take the Super Bowl champs here. By double-digits lol.

ATL (-1) over SEA | Falcons 23, Seahawks 17

When I was looking at the spread on Thursday, I saw so many lines for this. The one I picked, SEA as a -2.5 favorite, a Pick ‘Em, I saw ATL as a 3-point favorite. Yeah, they don’t know about this game, either. I think the Falcons win a close game with a late TD. I also said “close game”, which is not equal to good. STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

TB (-1) over GB | Bucs 20, Packers 14

I’m taking the Bucs here not cause of Brady > Rodgers. No, I’m taking them cause their defense I believe shuts down the Packers’ WRs, and get at Rodgers/RBs good. Defense all around here.

SF (-1.5) over DEN | Niners 24, Broncos 17

Remember when the Niners had a big controversy over Lance and Jimmy G, and if they would trade Jimmy G or not, cause they thought Lance was their future? But they didn’t, Jimmy G stayed on the team, and Lance became the starting QB? Well, it’s Jimmy G’s team again with Lance out for the year, and he looked like the leader who guided them (against a porous Seahawks team). I have them over the bad Ponies.

NYG (-1) over DAL | Giants 23, Cowboys 20

It really should be stated how big a 2-0 start for the Giants is. They haven’t tasted this since 2016. And now they get a MNF game, vs. their hated rivals, who just won a (somewhat) emotional game vs. the Bengals. I really want to take Cooper Rush here, cause I think he is better than Jones as a QB. BUT, I just have a feeling the Giants pull this out. 3-0 baby!

Last Week: 5-11

Overall Record: 11-21

Week 1 is over, and we saw alot of stuff happened. The Bills’ asskicking of the Rams, the Cowboys’ lost hopes and dreams (again), the Packers looking like crap, the Chiefs looking great once more, the PIT/CIN game, the ….. whatever the fuck that was with the Broncos. It was epic. So, on to Week 2, with maybe more drama. Maybe. (Note, all spread picks were made on Thursday, so lines may have changed by now.)

KC (-4) over LAC

Well, this didn’t go well. I meant for Herbert and getting his ribs turned to jelly. At least you beat the spread with that late TD, even if it meant being in total fucking pain.

CLE (-6.5) over NYJ | Browns 21, Jets 12

Did you see the Browns starting 2-0? Well, they might on the might of their rookie kicker, and the fact the Jets are still the Jets.

DET (-1.5) over WAS | Lions 27, Commies 21

I know many have the Commies as an upset pick this week vs. the Lions, but let me tell you this. Carson Wentz is 0-2 in his career vs. the Lions. Yes, that is real.

BAL (-3.5) over MIA | Ravens 30, Fins 23

This is a battle of who is actually the real deal. For this, I trust Lamar more than Tua.

CAR (+2) over NYG | Panthers 23, Giants 20

PIT(+2) over NE | Steelers 24, Patriots 17

Two similar lines that I have different thoughts about. CAR/NYG for me I believe is a toss-up. Congrats to the Giants on actually being above .500, but yeah, it’s a gut pick (That worked with the Cowboys game last week.) As for latter, I know TJ Watt is gone for the next few weeks. BUT, NE is a favorite? Did you see them last week against Miami? That Patricia/Judge offense? Yeah, no. The Steelers may have BS’d their way to a W last week, but I am not picking that offense against them.

NO (+2.5) over TB | Saints 27, Bucs 26

My Upset of the Week, based on spreads, because 1. The Saints are 4-0 vs. the Brady Bucs in the regular season, so there’s that. And 2. I kept picking the Bucs vs. the Saints to beat them in the regular season, and it cost me. Let’s see with this now.

JAX (+4) cover IND | Colts 24, Jags 23

Yeah, it’s stupid for me to pick the Jags in this game, right? The Colts came back last week (tho tied), and the Jags faltered vs. the Commies. So, it shouldn’t be close at all in this g-Wait *checks*. THE COLTS HAVE LOST 7 STRAIGHT IN JACKSONVILLE?! Never mind.

LAR (-10.5) over ATL | Rams 31, Falcons 18

I know they got beat badly last week, but that was vs. what may be a Super Bowl-contending Bills team. The Falcons? It’s a tale as old as time

LV (-5.5) over ARI | Raiders 34, Cards 24

I don’t know if it was cause of the Chiefs, or cause the Cardinals are terrible. Actually, it was most likely both. My “Kingsberry 1st coach fired” pick looks good.

HOU (+10) cover DEN | Broncos 20, Texans 16

SEA (+8.5) cover SF | Niners 26, Seahawks 20

Two giant favorites that shouldn’t be anywhere close to giant favorites. Did you see the Broncos on Monday? Cause Vegas sure didn’t. I know it’s the Texans, but if you can’t win a game vs. that Seahawks team, you shouldn’t be favorited by 10. Especially if your coach is an idiot. Meanwhile, it’s SEA/SF, in a Battle of the Mid. Yes, it rained a shitload for the Niners in Chicago, but even so, you blew the game vs. a not-good Bears team, and again, it’s Geno Smith for the Seahawks, who if the Broncos didn’t have many issues with scoring at the goal line, that game wouldn’t be close. Both these teams may be bad.

CIN (-7) over DAL | Bengals 27, Cowboys 16

Look, I like Cooper Rush. I wanted him as a Lions back-up QB. He went to high school a few miles away from where I actually live. He has been good enough to win games in the NFL. But against a Cincy team who should be pissed off after how last week went? Not touching that underdog line here.

CHI (+10) cover GB | Packers 24, Bears 16

I will give you this, Bears. You fought hard, and deserved that W. And the Packers? You looked like crap last week with no WRs whatsoever. So, I’ll take the points with the Bears, but Rodgers still owns you.

BUF (-10) over TEN | Bills 34, Titans 20

PHI (-2) over MIN | Eagles 27, Vikings 24

TWO Monday Night games, with different opinions from me. I think the Eagles/Vikings game should maybe be the Game of the Week. Both teams might be among the NFC’s best this year (maybe a little W1 overreaction), and it should be a fun game overall. AJ Brown and Justin Jefferson should be ballin’ in this game. As for the other one? Did you see the Bills and Titans last week? Those teams couldn’t have been any different. Well, at least the Titans did in the 2nd half. But yeah, the AFC South is garbage, and the Bills may be the best team in the NFL. Not taking any double-digit underdogs in this one.

Last Week: 6-10

Overall Record: 6-10

I AM BACK FOR THE NFL SEASON, LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Seriously, I am in a need to write some more, and why not start again with my yearly NFL picks one? I won’t take long here to take talking about this, so you know the drill if you been with me this whole time

I make picks based on spread lines, with picks, upsets, and my “STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!” action. Simple enough? Alright, let’s start the 2022 season, before Jeff Bezos buys me out

LAR (+2.5) over BUF | Rams 27, Bills 20

So I’m to assume that the Bills should be the favorites in this game, over a team that just won a Super Bowl, on the road? Yeah, ok.

MIA (-3.5) over NE | Fins 24, Patriots 20

I still don’t trust Tua much. But …. ARE YOU READY FOR A MATT PATRICIA/JOE JUDGE-LED OFFENSE, PATRIOTS FANS?!!

CAR (PK) over CLE | Panthers 20, Browns 13

Hmmm, a pick ’em game for the Baker Mayfield vs. Browns game, a game where Jacoby Brissett is the starter now over the now-suspended Watson, and all you need to do is stop the Browns’ run game? Seems pretty SUS to me.

SF (-7) over CHI | Niners 27, Bears 17

BAL (-7) over NYJ | Ravens 31, Jets 20

Two 7-point spreads for two teams I really don’t feel ready to trust yet (SF, BAL). And yet, I trust them more than the underdogs, cause those teams are not gonna be good. Esp. the Bears, imo.

JAX (+2.5) over WAS | Jags 22, Commies 20

Is this a SAFTG!! for me? It depends. It definitely feels like one. But know what? I’ll hold off at declaring this game as one, since it’s Week 1. If it was week 6, then yes. But Week 1 is weird, so who knows if this might be the Game of the Week lol.

DET (+4) over PHI | Lions 27, Eagles 24

But you know what? I am still picking my Upsets of the Week, Based on Spreads. And guess what? It’s Dan Campbell’s team, my team, as the Upset, since alot have valued the Eagles highly so far, even with Hurts as a QB. But I believe in the hype. This should be the start of something great. (Please Lions, I beg you to do it. Just be fun and full of fight. I don’t want you to ruin my hype like the Tigers did, PLEASE!!!)

PIT (+6.5) cover CIN | Bengals 33, Steelers 28

HOU (+7) cover IND | Colts 30, Texans 26

Two cover games for different reasons. The Bengals/Steelers game should be fun, cause you have a team who made the Super Bowl last year vs. a team who is GAHTA SUPA BOWL THIS YEAR AND YOU CAN’T STOP THE YINZER REIGN WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!!!! *Ahem* But really, they are two rivals, and it should be fun. Now, the Colts/Texans are different because ….. I really can’t tell with the AFC South. I trust NO ONE in this league this year. Even with Matt Ryan, I think they are basically equal in terms of mediocrity. Then again, that is usually the AFC South.

NO (-5.5) over ATL | Saints 24, Falcons 17

Just like the Eagles, alot of people seem to think this is a good Saints team, even with Winston as QB. They may be good, but not THAT good. Meanwhile, the Falcons should be ….. ummmm, a team?

KC (-6) over ARI | Chiefs 30, Cards 20

I am very hyped for the Hard Knocks coming in November for the Arizona Cardinals, like I was with the Lions. Because the promos for it looked like an absolute shitshow, just like this season might be for the Cardinals. We might not see Kingsberry in this when it comes.

TEN (-5.5) over NYG | Titans 24, Giants 13

You probably only need King Henry, next ruler of England, to beat this Giants team. I have no expectations for them at all.

GB (-1.5) over MIN | Packers 27, Vikings 23

This has been a game I seen some say that the Vikings can win. Yes, they had the most success vs. the Packers among NFC North teams, including winning last year. But for now, I’ll take Rodgers here, even if he lost his best man to Vegas.

LV (+3.5) cover LAC | Chargers 38, Raiders 37

This game right here? This is my Game of the Week. Cause Raiders/Chargers games have always proven to be fun, with no defense, some mistakes that can cost the game for the team, and a bunch of fun from this West Coast rivalry. I think it will be like that again, with many expectations for both of these teams.

DAL (+2.5) over TB | Cowboys 34, Bucs 31

I hate that I’m doing this. I really do. BUT, my gut is telling me to take the Cowboys here vs. the now age-filled Brady and his talented team (minus a few O-Lineman). Should make for a fun Sunday Night.

DEN (-6.5) over SEA | Broncos 23, Seahawks 10

Russell Wilson is out of Seattle, and yet back in Seattle for the 1st game with his new team. The Broncos might finally have found their QB, even if he has been kinda broken by the Seahawks the last couple years. Meanwhile. the Seahawks ….. yeah. It’s not gonna be pretty this year, with no O-Line, a meh defense, and a QB battle between Geno Smith and Drew Lock. Maybe you should Suck for Stroud next draft.

There are the picks. Now for the predictions

AFC

AFC North

Bengals: 11-6

Ravens: 10-7

Steelers: 7-10

Browns: 5-12

I said the Bengals would be the worse in this division last year, and look how that turned out. It should be a battle between them and the now-healthy Ravens, while the Steelers still have some kinks. The Browns? LMFAO try surviving till Week 13.

AFC EAST

Bills: 12-5

Dolphins: 9-8

Patriots: 7-10

Jets: 5-12

I might have given the Jets and Patriots too many wins. The Jets are already injured, and the Patriots’ offense is gonna stink. This should be the Bills’ division to win easily, but who knows how Tua will do with all that talent they got for him.

AFC South

Titans: 9-8

Colts: 8-9

Texans: 6-11

Jags: 6-11

As you can see, I don’t have any faith in this division. This is gonna be a mediocre division, and it’s not gonna be long to see any of them in the playoffs. The less I have to say, the better.

AFC West

Chargers: 11-7

Chiefs: 11-7

Broncos: 9-8

Raiders: 8-9

As you can see, I have this the opposite of the AFC South. I feel like everyone here can win their division here, cause of all the talent. Hell, I have the Raiders finishing last, and I still think they could beat anyone in this league on a good day. This should be alot of fun, as I think the Chargers own the tiebreaker over the Chiefs, and win this division. I also think 3 teams make the playoffs here, as the Broncos should just sneak in.

Playoffs: BUF, LAC, CIN, TEN, KC, BAL, DEN

NFC

NFC North

Packers: 11-6

Vikings: 10-7

Lions: 8-9

Bears: 4-13

As usual, it’s the Packers division, until we finally see Rodgers’ regress. The Vikings and Lions should be alot of fun, as maybe next year, it should be their division to decide. And the Bears? You are supposed to IMPROVED the team around your now 2nd-year QB. The Bears got WORSE, and it’s not gonna be fun for their annoying ass fanbase.

NFC East

Cowboys: 10-7

Eagles: 10-7

Commies: 6-11

Giants: 3-14

This is the Eagles and Cowboys’ division to decide this year, as I have the Cowboys with the tiebreaker over the Eagles. They should feast on the Washington Football Team Commanders and Giants, as I think the Giants will be one of the worst teams in the league this year.

NFC South

Bucs: 11-6

Saints: 9-8

Panthers: 5-12

Falcons: 4-13

Yes, this is still the Bucs’ division to lose, even if Brady is 0-4 vs. the Saints. I said already that I don’t trust the Saints right now. No, I don’t think Mayfield will improve the Panthers in anyway. Ditto with Mariota and the Falcons.

NFC West

Rams: 12-5

Niners: 9-8

Cardinals: 6-11

Seahawks: 3-14

This is the Rams’ division, and maybe league, for now (if Stafford is healthy). Trey Lance is now leading the Niners, and that is a wait and see approach we will be tuned into. I’ll give the Saints the final playoff tiebreaker over them. I think it’s gonna get ugly for the Cardinals, as I think Kliff is the 1st coach fired. And the Seahawks are gonna be a full-time tank this year.

Playoffs: LAR, TB, GB, DAL, MIN, PHI, NO

Super Bowl

LAR vs. LAC

Ok, you want me to make a surprise: Why not an all-LA battle? I know I’m gonna be wrong here, but hey, no one saw the Bengals making the big stage last year. So why not the Chargers? They got all the talent to do so, and can compete with anyone. The Bills, Chiefs, and Bengals are still gonna fight them, along with the Bucs, Cowboys, and Packers vs. the Rams on the NFC side. Plus, who knows how healthy Stafford is, so I am gonna be wrong about all of this. But we mostly were last year as well.

Those are my picks. Have a fun NFL Week 1, everyone.

Last Year’s Regular Season Record: 137-135