greensupercedric

Did you miss me? Ok, it’s been awhile since I made a post. Like, since …. December? Maybe? I forgot. But yes, I didn’t make a Super Bowl thing, and really should’ve. I did pick the Chiefs rigging a win for the Swifties beating the Niners in the Super Bowl, so I still got it. But football has been over for a month now, and now, it’s time for my favorite month of the year: March Madness

Yes, it’s finally time. Time again for your office brackets to get beat by whoever you face cause they picked their favorite colors or some animal they like to win it all. And they will be right compared to you watching basketball all year. And sure, me doing this means nothing at all, since I’m just as likely to get this all wrong. HOWEVER, I did pick UConn to win last year. And guess what? They fucking did it! So I can get some things right from time to time. But that was last year. This is now. It’s the best time for the year, so time to hear my thoughts on all these teams, whether you want to hear it or not. And who knows, maybe reading this will help you blow off some steam cause your teams didn’t make it (Sorry to Indiana State, Pittsburgh, any Big East bubble teams, and Iowa/OSU/Indiana who beat my team :D)

Like last year, here’s the full bracket to prepare yourselves for the Madness

Let’s start in the East Region

East Region

Top 4 Teams in the region

Looks who’s back as #1 yet again. Connecticut is here to defend their title, and quite frankly, even tho they did lose some good players from the championship team last year, they may be even better than that team. Led by Donovan Clingan, this UConn team is absolutely dominate, and has proven to beaten anyone by alot. Sure, they do have a few hiccups, but Dan Hurley has as ready a team as there can be for a repeat. Iowa State is the 2-seed, and they just dominated a #1 seed in Houston in their conference tournament final. This team is all defense and they will beat you that way. But the problem is just that, since their offense has no players who average more than 14 ppg. That could be a problem. But this team just gels as well as any you will see. Illinois is the opposite of Iowa State. They are all offense, and they can score with the best of them. Led by Terrance Shannon (don’t look up why he was suspended for part of the season), he makes this team go, go, and go some more. Marcus Domask is also someone on this team who can take over. However, as I said, they are all offense, so they will have to outscore teams. If they don’t, they can choke games away. Look at the Penn State, MSU and Purdue games they played. Finally, Auburn is as good as any team in country when they are going. They have a top 15 offense AND defense, and can beat you down if they feel like it (Just ask South Carolina). Bruce Pearl’s team should be ready to go, and will be a problem for the top teams to take down.

Other top teams in the bracket

Remember San Diego State and Florida Atlantic in that amazing Final 4 game last year? Well, they are back again as 5 and 8 seed, respectfully. Well, maybe for San Diego State. They did have some losses, but they played in a tough Mountain West conference this year and will be battle tested from it. Meanwhile, FAU moved to the ‘MURICAN, and while they did get 25 wins, they didn’t look as good with just about the same team as the Final 4 run. Hell, they lost to Bryant, Florida Gulf Coast, and Temple, just bad/mid teams overall that doesn’t give me confidence. BYU left the WCC to go to the Big 12, and SOMEHOW got better doing so. They shoot the fuck outta 3’s, and hit many of them, as that could be a problem for many come tourney time. Washington State, going to the WCC next year cause of the death of the Pac-12, had one of their best seasons in quite some time, having swept Arizona in the process. They play very good defense, so watch out for Wazzu. Then there’s Northwestern, the 9th seed. Being led by Boo Buie, they can beat anyone, if given the chance (Ask Purdue). But they have gotten hit with injuries lately, including losing their 2nd-best player in Ty Berry for the season, and losing their center to a foot injury. Still, look out for them.

Lower seeded teams who can get to the Sweet 16

Drake is back, and being led by one of their all-timers in Tucker DeVries and their offensive firepower, they should be ready to go. They lost last year to a Final 4 team, so maybe if you beat them, your team may make it there? UAB was as hot as any team to finish the year, as they are lead by AAC DPotY Yaxel Lendeborg to make people work for it on defense. Duquesne, in the tourney for the first time in 47 years, has won 8 straight games to get here, and will play hard for their coach who is retiring after their run ends. Sure, Yale had to beat a under .500 Brown team on a buzzer beater (and down 6 with 25 seconds left) to make it here, but they have upset teams in the tourney before. Look out for them. Morehead State and South Dakota State both have two players (Riley Minix for MSU, Zeke Mayo for SDSU) that, if they get hot, it will leave the opposing team and fans sweating. Also, congrats to 16-seed Stetson for making it in for the 1st time ever.

Best game in the 1st Round

This region is very fun. Drake/Wazzu should be a fun game, as you’ll see DeVries go against the Wazzu’s defense. Iowa State/SDSU should be interesting, as that game is in Omaha, with all the fans of both getting a nearby trip. Morehead vs. Illinois is gonna be fun, cause Illinois can give up alot of points (they gave up 97 to Minnesota in a win), so it could make casuals happy. Duquesne/BYU looks like a fun match-up, as does UAB/San Diego State, and Yale could cause problems for Auburn. NW/FAU is a coin toss for me, cause you don’t know which team will show up.

Best Potential 2nd Round game

BYU/Illinois. 1st to 110 wins. Wazzu/Iowa State. 1st to 55 wins. But Drake/Iowa State would be an Iowa battle. UConn facing a FAU team that were in the Final 4 with them last year could be interesting. Auburn/San Diego State feels like an Elite 8 game, and whoever wins will give UConn problems.

My Pick for this region

UConn. I think Auburn will give them the toughest test in the Sweet 16, and Illinois, if it can play some defense, has the talent to beat them. But like last year, until someone can prove they can do it, UConn is my pick.

West Region

(I tried to make this smaller, and fucking failed each and every time for only this one)

Top 4 Teams in the region

This is the “Anything could happen” region for me, cause everyone is a toss-up, for better or worse. UNC is the top team in the region, but there could’ve been better choices for #1 (Tennessee, for example). While North Carolina is very talented, led by Armando Bacot and RJ Davis, they have some questionable losses, like to a bad Georgia Tech team. So they can be beat. But they also swept Duke, so they can beat anyone. Arizona is the 2-seed, and just like UNC, they have ups and downs. Being led by former UNC star Caleb Love and a bunch of other talented dudes, they can beat anyone in this tourney. They also got swept by Wazzu, lost to FAU, and have bad losses to USC, Stanford, and Oregon (the latter basically set up the Ducks to make the tourney.) Baylor …. ditto. Scott Drew has another great group in the region to set-up for another long run, but they also don’t play the best of defense. And then there’s Alabama. When their offense is hot, look out! They can hit 100 easily, and hit many 3’s to beat you. The problem? Their defense is ABSOLUTE GARBAGE!! They played Florida twice in the last month, and gave up 100+ to them each time. They also gave up 117 to Kentucky. They are a double-edge sword.

Other top teams in the bracket

Saint Mary’s was one of the best teams this year in the WCC, having beaten their Gonzaga rivals twice, and beating up others with their defensive prowess. Same with 8-seed Mississippi State, having shut down the Vols twice, and being an all-around pest for many. Clemson got a nice 6-seed, and while I do think they are overseeded, they have beaten UNC on the road, and Bama and South Carolina. Meaning don’t underestimate them. Dayton has one of the best players in the tourney in DaRon Holmes II, as he is gonna be truly hard to handle and stop as any given point, along with Dayton being one of the better 3-point shooting teams in the nation. And then there’s my team, Michigan State. ….. The less I talk about them, the better. Yes, they can beat anyone, ask Baylor and Illinois. That is, if they are actually consistent, which they are not. By a long shot. Especially at center. But again, it is March, and it’s Tom Izzo’s time to shine.

Lower seeded teams who can get to the Sweet 16

I said “Anything Can Happen” here, and these teams are why. Nevada and New Mexico were two of the hottest teams in the Mountain West at points (Nevada finished 10-1 to end the season, New Mexico won the MW Tournament), and can beat anyone when they get going. New Mexico especially, when their offense is clicking. Grand Canyon, the one uni you probably seen in TV ads, is no slouch. They only have 4 losses, beat San Diego St., and have Bryce Drew to lead them. They can get to a Sweet 16. Charleston has to be absolutely happy to face a porous Bama defense, as they can hit 3’s as well as Bama can, and has a 12-game winning streak entering this game. The toothpaste school Colgate is back for the 5th straight time, and they have been itching for a victory. And then there’s Long Beach State, who before their conference tourney, agreed to mutually part with their coach. And he led them to a Big West tourney title. Amazing.

Best game in the 1st Round

Too many to choose, cause they can all be great. I have Charleston/Bama, cause of how many points could be scored. But New Mexico/Clemson, Colgate/Baylor, Nevada/Dayton, GCU/St. Mary’s. All great choices that you can’t go wrong with. Also, whoever wins the battle of the MSUs will be the ONE TRUE MSU.

Best Potential 2nd Round game

Michigan State vs. UNC. Yeah, I’m biased, but a battle of blue bloods in the 2nd round doesn’t sound good to you? The winner of Nevada/Dayton can beat Arizona, if LBSU doesn’t. Pick and choose between GCU/SMC/Bama/CofC. They all sound fun.

My Pick for this region

I’m not gonna lie. I really don’t know who I like in this region. I know most have Arizona, but man, those bad losses really makes me think they are frauds. I’m staying clear of Bama and their terrible defense. And I could see someone like New Mexico or GCU make an Elite 8. For now, I’m going with UNC vs. Baylor in the Elite 8, and for now, I’m giving it to Baylor cause they played in the tougher conference. Even so, I don’t like my pick.

South Region

Top 4 Teams in the region

Houston is, by far and large, the best team in this region. They earned their #1 seed by winning the Big 12 regular season in their 1st year there, and mostly dominated the league (not counting the B12 tournament final. Woof). But this team beats you with their defense (holding teams to under 50 points 11 times this season), with their all-around connection (Jamal Shead and LJ Cryer are their leaders), and they don’t turn it over. They are as dangerous as a 1-seed can be. Marquette is the 2-seed, like they were last year. And while they don’t have Michigan State to get them this year, they do have some concerns. The biggest being is their point guard Tyler Kolek gonna be healthy. He wasn’t for the Big East tourney, and if he’s not good, then it’s gonna be sweating time for Marquette fans. Kentucky and Duke are here as the 3 and 4 seeds, and like always, they have loads of talent you will see soon in the NBA. Of course, they also have flaws. Kentucky at times cannot play defense whatsoever, and Duke has some questionable losses (Wake, Pitt, and GT). Either way, these two teams can be a pest, and will contend here.

Other top teams in the bracket

Wisconsin is the #5 seed, and did some good things this season, as they are led by St. Johns transfer AJ Storr (see St. Johns, you can make it in) as they started out hot, and even beat Purdue in the end. They also had a rough Jan/Feb, with many losses, including giving Michigan their only win in their last 15 games. YIKES! Texas Tech has a new coach, and even with a new guy, and playing in a touch B12 conference, they still competed as well as any team, and earned their 6-seed. Florida is as good an offense as you will see in this tourney (ask Bama), but they are bad defensively, and also lost their starting center to a fractured leg. Wade Taylor IV and Texas A&M have some very good wins this year, including against their SEC/region mate Kentucky, but also have some baffling losses to bad teams, so you don’t know what you will get. And then there’s Nebraska, who is back for the 1st time in 10 years, and have a legitimate player in Japanese-born Keisei Tominaga, who can hit from Curry-range as well as anybody. The question is, can Nebraska win away more outside of Lincoln?

Lower seeded teams who can get to the Sweet 16

Boise State and Colorado have been as good as any team in the country as times this season, especially Colorado right now, who did suffer some injuries, but are fully healthy at the right time. They both didn’t deserve to be a 1st Four team, and should challenge Florida and more. Ask me about James Madison. No really, they were the 1st team MSU faced this year, and they went to MSU and beat them. They are legitimately good, having started out 14-0, and have the nation’s longest winning streak at the moment at 13 games. NC State was an afterthought entering the ACC tourney, as they were a 10-seed. Now they’re an 11-seed here, having won 5 games in 5 days, beating Duke, UVA, and UNC to get here. Look out for them. Vermont is once again representing the American East (and their new I-95 looking ass logo), bringing a top-40 defense with them. But the question as always with them, can they get over the hump here finally? Oakland is back again in Greg Kampe’s 40th season, and being led by Trey Townsend (along with another dude who actually went to my high school), they can hang with anyone, as they did beat Xavier. Western Kentucky goes fast as fuck, and turns it over just as much. Speed is their game for Big Red. And finally ….. Longwood. I just wanted to say Longwood hehe.

Best game in the 1st Round

JMU/Wisconsin. This has 12-5 upset written all over, as JMU feels like, if all goes right, could make an Elite 8 run. But don’t back down on Wisky, as they won’t give in that easily. Nebraska/A&M is also great for Tominaga vs. Taylor. And Florida vs. Boise/Colorado should be alot of fun.

Best Potential 2nd Round game

JMU/Wisky vs. Duke is gonna be fun, as both teams can beat Duke. Whoever wins in the Corn/A&M game facing that Houston defense with their best player is gonna be amazing. Marquette will be in a hard time with whoever wins the 7/10 match-up if Kolek isn’t healthy. And TTU/UK could be interesting.

My Pick for this region

I have Houston winning this region. No doubt, I had my doubts about them in the season, but seeing how they easily won the regular season, in this conference, to going out here, I think it can be done. With that said, I have a surprise for their E8 match-up: Their now new B12 mates, Texas Tech. I DO NOT trust UK/Duke. I don’t think Marquette is going far with Kolek at less than 100%. So why not Texas Tech? I think this should be a fun ride for both, but I trust Houston more.

Midwest Region

Top 4 Teams in the region

Well, Purdue, you are a #1 seed once more. The question is: Are you actually gonna finally live up to the hype? Or are you gonna embarrass yourselves once more? As you remember last year, this team lost to a 16-seed in FDU. A 16-seed who didn’t have anyone taller than 6’6. A 16-seed who wasn’t supposed to be there, but was cause of the NCAA’s stupid D-II transfer rules. Yes, this happened, and we should never let this down. Anyway, Zach Edey is back again, did stuff that overgrown toddler does, and won PotY again, cause why not? He also has most of his same team back, but with Lance Jones and Braden Smith helping them get tons of 3’s made when Edey doesn’t have the ball. Or when a foul isn’t fucking called. Oh, there were alot of fouls called. Edey got too many of them in any game. But that was with Big 10 refs. How will they do when there isn’t a prime bias there? We’ll see soon enough.

On to the others, Tennessee has probably the actual PotY in Dalton Knecht, who is just an absolutely brilliant player in everything. He can score 30-40 easily like it’s nothing, and while Tennessee is more known for their defense, Knecht has turned them into an offense-oriented machine, and against good teams, too. Creighton is back again, and being led once more by the trio of Ryan Kalkbrenner, Baylor Scheierman, and Trey Alexander. They were this close to getting to a Final 4 last year. Can they get there this time? Kansas is back again for the 34th-straight time, and well …. it was a down year for them. They finished as a 6-seed in the B12 tournament, lost some questionable games (but also beat UConn), and also lost some players. The giant dickhead Hunter Dickenson got a dislocated shoulder in the Houston game, and Kevin McCullar Jr. is out of the tourney with an injury. That isn’t good for a team who, without both, got crushed by Cincinatti. How are they gonna handle better teams than them?

Other top teams in the bracket

Hey, remember in February we had discussions about Gonzaga maybe missing the tournament? Well, that changed with a W at Kentucky, and now they are here as a (pretty overseeded, in my opinion) 5-seed. Yes, Graham Ike is gonna dominate, but they, at times, look pretty beatable. South Carolina was picked to finished dead last in the SEC. Instead, they finished 26-7, beat UK and Tennessee, and has a game-changer in Collin Murray-Boyles. Remember Max Abmas from that Oral Roberts’s Sweet 16 run in 2021? Well, he’s with Texas now, and is still doing his thing, even if Texas has underachieved with this team. Whoever wins between Utah State and TCU is gonna be a challenge for Purdue. Utah State won the MW regular season title, and being led by Great Osobor, are gonna be a pain. TCU, while they didn’t finish too well, still gave Houston one of their 4 losses, so they aren’t a pushover either.

Lower seeded teams who can get to the Sweet 16

I’m not gonna say anything about Virginia, cause I do not care about the “Iowa Football of college basketball”. But Colorado State was a top 15 team at one point, and has a legit dude in Isaiah Stevens. Oregon was dead in the water, and not anywhere close to a bubble team entering the (final) Pac-12 tournament. But that’s the beauty of tourneys, as Oregon went and won it out, beating Arizona in the process. Why not them now? Then there’s the 12 and 13 seeds here. McNeese State is as great as any team in the nation right now, having won 30 games, beating the breaks off their own conference, and beating some other teams *coughMichigancough* along the way. Oh, and you remember Will Wade? Yeah, that’s who’s coaching them. Samford is gonna be a handful, as they legit have a top-10 3-point shooting team, hitting almost 40% of them. They will give Kansas a game. Akron is still pretty good as usual, as Enrique Freeman has the Zips back in the tourney. And, oh, who’s this we see once more? Saint Peter’s, after their 2022 run that saw them make the Elite 8 after beating Purdue (heh), is back again, and once more, as a 15-seed. Do they have the same magic in them that we saw before?

Best game in the 1st Round

Utah State/TCU, McNeese/Gonzaga, Samford/Kansas. All legit games, with all the different ways that these teams can give fights and make for great entertainment. McNeese/Gonzaga is probably my favorite one of this whole tourney. But don’t forget about the Ducks vs. Cocks. That could be a good one. And least we forget about a certain 1-seed maybe making MORE (bad) history again vs. a 16-seed?

Best Potential 2nd Round game

I’ll say it. Whoever wins in Utah State/TCU I think has a great chance vs. Purdue. Abmas vs. Knecht would be much-watch TV/streaming. Gonzaga vs. Kansas could be fun, but so would McNeese vs. Samford. And SCAR/Ducks vs. Creighton? That could be very entertaining.

My Pick for this region

My pick for this region is …. NOT Purdue. You think I trust them when they won’t be refbabied in this tournament like they were in the Big 10? Nah, I legit have them losing to Utah State, and have USU in the Elite 8. Why is that? Cause I have them facing McNeese in the Sweet 16. As for the bottom, I have Creighton vs. Tennessee in the S16, and that should be a Final 4 game, not here. But one has to win, and I like Creighton a bit more, and have them erasing the demons from last year and making it to the Final 4.

Final 4/Championship Picks

So my Final 4 is UConn vs. Baylor, and Houston vs. Creighton, a Big 12 vs. Big East battle for both. Sure, I only had one team in the Final 4 last year. But that team that made it there was Connecticut, and I picked them to win. And boy, did they win it. So fuck it, LET’S DO IT AGAIN!! I got them beating Houston in the championship game, and winning Back-2-Back titles, the 1st to do so since Florida did in the 2000’s. Congrats to you, UConn! Or to whoever else, cause I just jinxed them.

As always, enjoy the tournament.

Well, it is Thanksgiving once more. If you are with your family, be thankful that you are with them and enjoy the food, parades, and talk and whatnot. If you are doing retail work on this day, I’m so sorry. People are gonna be assholes today with being stupid at last-minute shopping. But today and the whole week is also a time to celebrate football. Be it NFL, college, or in some cases, high school, it is always a big week. This week is no different. In the NFL this week, we have some match-ups, including something new, and we may have another …. THE GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME. So, without further ado, it’s picking time!

Thanksgiving Day Games

DET (-8.5) over GB | Lions 31, Packers 20

Ok, last week sucked as a Lions fan, then it didn’t. What an amazing comeback that made Bears fans so smug, then wanted to shoot themselves. That’s what you get, you annoying pricks. Your shit talk through all the offseason led to this, and you can eat ALL the shit! Anyway, why am I picking them again after all that? Cause have you seen the Packers’ injury list? Yikes! Also, they beat them pretty good last time with a mostly healthy team.

WAS (+13.5) cover DAL | Cowboys 36, Commies 28

The Commies REALLY let Tommy DeVito, of all QBs, look like an actual NFL QB by having him toss 3 TDs on them, and now DeVito has more multiple passing TD games than Kenny Pickett does. WOOF. So why am I taking them to cover? Cause even tho they suck against bad teams, they play pretty well against good teams *looks at Eagles*. I see them hitting a late TD for a cover on the Cowboys.

SF (-7) over SEA | Niners 34, Seahawks 21

Well, the Niners are fully back and healthy. The Seahawks are not healthy and fading badly on Geno Smith’s injured body. This might be a bigger blowout than the score I made up.

Black Friday Game

Wait, what do you mean a “Black Friday Game”?

MIA (-9.5) over NYJ | Fins 30, Jets 12

Yes, a Black Friday game. And it’s at 3 PM. This one involves the Dolphins, and the Jetties, who have finally, FINALLY and mercifully, moved on from Zach Wilson, and is now having the command be taken by Lions legend Tim Boyle. Surely, he can guide the Jets to a upset W, right? Right?! ….. Yeah, no. Especially with how the Fins’ defense has been playing recently.

Sunday/Monday games

HOU (+1.5) over JAX | Texans 30, Jags 27 (OT)

Hey, the Texans beat them the last time they played, so why not do it again? But that was a surprising blowout. This will not be like that (I think) cause they have seen the Texans, as have everyone else now, and can see that this team is alot different than last year. It should be a fun game.

PIT (-1) over CIN | Steelers 23, Bengals 14

Steelers fans, it’s Christmas! It feels like it for them, cause Matt Canada …. has been FIRED! Oh, it is an amazing feeling for them that they haven’t experienced mid-season since …. 1941? Really? But now, they can focus on GAHTA SUPER BOWL-ing OFF THE HIGH END TALENT!! Meanwhile, you Bengals. Joe Burrow is out for the year. You are pretty much fucked.

TB (+2.5) cover IND | Colts 24, Bucs 23

I don’t have much to say about this game, but maybe Jim Irsay off another coke/whiskey vendor can tweet something about it after the game?

NO (+1) over ATL | Saints 20. Falcons 17

Ok, I went over this game a few times. And even tho I have the Saints here, I can’t lie. I can see either team winning this game, or losing it in the worst way. I couldn’t really decide, cause it was a coin flip. Hell, even one of the betting sites had this as a Pick ‘Em. Just a mid game by mid teams who can somehow call themselves a 1st-place team by whoever wins.

TEN (-3.5) over CAR | Titans 23, Panthers 16

Compared to what I’m about to say about the next game after this, I just don’t like this game period. Both these teams are ass, the Panthers can’t even get a draft pick for being ass, and it’s a game I do not want to watch. STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

But now. We have …. THE GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME.

NYG (+3.5) cover NE | Patriots 14, Giants 13

Yes, this is gonna be horrific. The Patriots had a week off after that German disaster that the Germans have never experience in almost 80 years. And now they get a suddenly hot Tommy DeVito to come play. Mac Jones/Bailey Zappe vs. Tommy DeVito: Feel the Magic! So why do I have the Patriots winning this game? Cause it would be the funniest outcome, given some Patriots fans (*coughBillSimmonscough*) want them to continue to tank for a QB, and seeing how the Giants losing would give them worst draft positioning? Oh man, it be the best thing. As this is …. THE GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME.

ARI (+1.5) over LAR | Cards 27, Rams 24

CLE (+1.5) over DEN | Browns 22, Broncos 20

Two 1.5-point underdogs that I’m taking here to win overall. The Cards are still bad, but they been playing better, especially since Kyler Murray came back. He could look good against a Rams team that you don’t know what you will get, unless your a Seahawks fan where you get a defeat to them. The Browns are playing the hottest team in the league in …. the Broncos? Yes, it’s a road game, but I really love their defense, and I believe they will carry them to another win here vs. Wilson and co.

LV (+9) cover KC | Chiefs 31, Raiders 26

Should I trust the Raiders here? They did almost beat the Dolphins their last game, while the Chiefs couldn’t catch a cold vs. the Eagles. Sure, the Chiefs’ defense should show up, but these two teams always make for weird results when they play.

PHI (-3) over BUF | Eagles 34, Bills 23

Seeing how the Eagles just went to the Chiefs and won, do you really expect me to pick them against the Bills? The same Bills team that looked like ass the last few weeks other than against a Jets team that is dying? A Bills team with almost all of their defense injured to hell, with a QB who is turnover prone? Yeah, no. I don’t think this game is gonna be close.

LAC (3.5) cover BAL | Ravens 26, Chargers 23

Is there anything that isn’t miserable for the Chargers? They keep losing games they had the chance to win. They have an amazing QB who can’t do it all, especially when his WRs drop everything. The “defensive-minded” coach can’t coach a defense worth a shit, and then throws a tantrum when asked about it. And when they think it can’t get worse, it does. Nothing but

MIN (-3.5) over CHI | Vikings 24, Bears 20

LOL Bears. LMFAO. 98.2% chance to win, and YOU BLEW IT!! I could shit on Bears fans more, but why do that again, when you ae still cursed with a coaching staff that fails to win, and an ownership who will just create more pain and misery in the future for you? Anyway, Dobbs Magic >>>>>>> Fields, so it’s gonna be more pain for you, Bears fans.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Last Week: 6-8

Overall Record: 83-81

I have to keep up somehow with this

Byes: KC, LAR, MIA, PHI

CHI (-3.5) over CAR

Not only did I not watch one single minute of this game, I missed the W on the spread by a 1/2 point. What a worthless game by two worthless teams (moreso for the Panthers, cause their pick is Chicago’s.)

IND (-1.5) over NE

This game is 10-6 in the 4th as I write this. Sorry, Germany.

TB (-1) over TEN | Bucs 24, Titans 20

MIN (+2.5) over NO | Vikings 26, Saints 24

HOU (+7) cover CIN | Bengals 31, Texans 26

The battle of “Actually Good Former Ohio State QBs”.

PIT (-3) over GB | Steelers 17, Packers 13

The battle of “Fans of teams who want their coordinators fired. From a cannon into the sun”.

BAL (-6) over CLE | Ravens 24, Browns 12

JAX (+3) over SF | Jags 23, Niners 20

I don’t care how talented the Niners are. I’m taking the hottest team in the NFL right now.

ATL (-1.5) over ARI | Falcons 20, Cards 10

LAC (+3) cover DET | Lions 33, Chargers 32

Maybe the hardest game the Lions will have for the next month and a half. Cause I don’t know which Chargers team will show up.

SEA (-6) over WAS | Seahawks 34, Commies 24

DAL (-16.5) over NYG | Cowboys 38, Giants 7

For as long as I can remember doing these picks, this is my biggest blowout pick I have ever made. The Cowboys blew them out when the Giants were mostly healthy. How the fuck is this gonna be close with Tommy Devito?

LV (+1) over NYJ | Raiders 23, Jets 17

Yes, the Jets are/were favored. In a road game. Sure, it’s the Raiders, but still.

DEN (+7.5) cover BUF | Bills 27, Broncos 23

The Ponies have been playing better. The Bills have not.

Last Week: 6-8

Overall Record: 68-68

I didn’t even post my picks from last week on anything. Whoops.

Just know I went even on them, and had the Patriots winning. Yeah. Fuck it, here’s some quick picks.

Byes: PIT, GB

KC (-10.5) over DEN

This game was bad, and both teams should feel bad about the outcome (or better, if you’re a Broncos fan? This was sadly one of their better outcomes)

BAL (-4) over TEN

IND (+4) cover JAX | Jags 24, Colts 22

HOU (+1.5) over NO | Texans 27, Saints 24

Always go with gut picks

SEA (+2.5) cover CIN | Bengals 31, Seahawks 29

MIA (-13.5) over CAR | Fins 45, Bengals 24

CHI (+2.5) cover MIN | Vikings 20, Bears 19

The last two weeks we had ….. THE GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME. Mostly cause of the irony of how bad they would be, and they delivered. This tho? Nah, it’s a STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

ATL (-2.5) over WAS | Falcons 28, Commies 20

SF (-9.5) over CLE | Niners 26, Browns 13

Real talk, I had the Browns covering in this game when I made my picks on late Wednesday night, as +5.5 sounded reasonable with the Browns and Niners’ defense. Nothing flipped it quicker (along with the game line) than the words of “Niners’ defense gonna face starting QB PJ Walker”.

LAR (-7) over ARI | Rams 31, Cards 23

DET (-3) over TB | Lions 27, Bucs 23

NYJ (+7) cover PHI | Eagles 29, Jets 24

Hey, the Jets and Zach Wilson have played better against better teams, so why not?

LV (-3) over NE | Raiders 24, Patriots 10

This does have the potential to be another ….. THE GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME. Especially with what happened last year. For now, it’s a SAFTG. But it has the potential.

BUF (-14) over NYG | Bills 28, Giants 13

DAL (-2.5) over LAC | Cowboys 40, Chargers 34

When in doubt, bet the over on any Chargers games.

Last Week: 7-7

Overall Record: 41-37

Whoops, I did it again. I didn’t post for 2 weeks straight, and even though I didn’t, it did affect my how my picks went.

Week 1 w/ article: 6-10

Week 2: 9-7

Week 3: 12-4. Holy shit, and I barely watched any games lol

So now, here I am again, and maybe I can get the same results as last week? Or maybe writing articles is a curse. Who knows? On to the picks, including what may be the Greatest Game of All Time this week.

DET (-2) over GB | Lions 27, Packers 24

The last time I did this, the Lions started on a Thursday Night game. And now? They are playing a Thursday Night game. Things never change. Either way, this is a big game vs. a rival that may not still be over how last season ended. Although, alot left from that team, now you have Jordan Love and a new batch of people taking over. But the Lions know this, and still won’t take things lightly. Random note, I am 3-0 in picking TNF games this year, so if I have my biases, then let’s go.

ATL (+3) over JAX | Falcons 30, Jags 26

Oh look, it’s the 1st London game of the year. And the Jags have 2 straight London games. Maybe they can get back on track with these games, cause they have STUNK so far. Barely beating the Colts, getting smushed by the Chiefs, and then getting DESTROYED by the Texans (including on a PR TD by a fullback who fumbled it). They face a Falcons team who gave up 7 sacks to the Lions, and got their RBs shut down by them too. So if the RBs can’t perform, it may be a long day. And yet, I think the Jags can’t get out of this funk at the moment. They will need to, cause they get the Bills next week.

CAR (+4) cover MIN | Vikings 23, Panthers 22

Remember when the Vikings won all the close games last year? Now, they can’t even win a game that the Chargers literally gifted to them. Maybe this time will be different versus the Bryce Young-led Andy Dalton-led Panthers. Then again, I’m expecting another close game once more.

CLE (-3) over BAL | Browns 24, Ravens 14

Cleveland might finally have a defense. They have been plenty dominate the 1st 3 weeks, and looked to be carrying Watson on this Chubb-less offense now. The Ravens are …. well, what else can I say other than “injured”? The list is long, and some are out for quite some time. Plus, their kicker is injured now, too. Well, he may seem like it, since he keeps missing FGs now. It’s not looking pretty in Ravens Country.

CIN (-2) over TEN | Bengals 31, Titans 20

PHI (-8) over WAS | Eagles 36, Commies 17

Two games that are with Super Bowl contenders (or were Contenders) vs. teams they should beat. Tennessee is still trying to fight, but man, I don’t know how much they got left. They looked terrible in two games, and the other was facing a bad Chargers’ defense. Burrow hasn’t looked great so far in 3 games after being paid 5 mansions worth of money, so we are still waiting for the Bengals to show up. The Eagles, while at times not pretty, have been winning once more, and looked dominant on MNF. The Commies have not in any of their games, other than that comeback vs. the Broncos, which they nearly blew again, and as you can see, I have no faith in them against Philly.

HOU (+3) over PIT | Texans 24, Steelers 20

Did Houston do it? Did they actually find a Ohio State QB who is actually good, and not propped up by the otherworldly talent that surrounded them? It seems like CJ Stroud is that dude, as he has looked amazing through 3 games, throwing for over 900 yards and no INTs so far. They get a Pittsburgh team who, with their HIGH END TALENT defense is gonna cause fits for Stroud, that offense has been pitiful so far. I believe that pitiful offense will continue here. My Upset of the Week, based on spreads (along with ATL/JAX).

TB (+3) cover NO | Saints 20, Bucs 18

No offense to both teams, but I just don’t like any of these two. Especially now that Carr may be out for a bit with the injured shoulder. Famous Jameis vs. Baker is the stuff of pure Tank Bowls, except it’s a fight for 1st in the NFC South. Woof. I expect the defenses to have field days here.

LAR (PK) over IND | Rams 28, Colts 21

There are always one or 2 games in a year where the bettors don’t know which way to go on a game. This is one of them. I have the Rams as a Pick ‘Em, but I seen the Rams favored by 1-1.5, to even the Colts being favored. Doesn’t matter, I’ll take the experience QB in Stafford over Minshew/Richardson.

MIA (+2.5) over BUF | Fins 38, Bills 34

What a game, huh? We got a team who ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED their opponent last week, showing no mercy to them, as the other team was absolutely helpless to stop them, and there was nothing America could do but watch the slaughter. There was also the Fins beating up the Broncos. Let’s be real, this should be a shootout, defenses be damned. The Fins are connecting on all cylinders right now, and until they are stopped by Tua’s eventual concussion, they are gonna be a force. But the Bills are no pushovers. Ever since the Week 1 upset to Zach Wilson, they have pulverized the Raiders and Commies, and now have this Miami team coming in with all the momentum. If this was a Bills home game in November/December, I would take them here easily. But this is one in Early October, where it’s still relatively warm, so Miami should be ready. This is gonna be fun. This is gonna be …. The Greatest Game of All Time.

Wait, did I say that? Nope, that isn’t Fins/Bills. The Greatest Game of All Time …. is the next one.

DEN (-3.5) over CHI | Broncos 17, Bears 13

What a game, huh? We got two teams who got ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED by their opponents last week, showing no fight to them, as they were absolutely helpless to stop them, and there was nothing America could do but watch the slaughter. Until Fox cut in, and said “Bears, you suck asshole. Bye!”. Let’s be real, this should be putrid, offenses be damned. The Bears are just dying in every way, shape, and form of their franchise relevance, and until they are stopped by Fields throwing 5 INTs in a game, they are gonna be terrible. But the Broncos are not good. Their fanbase is literally dying. As is Vance Joseph (tho, he may have been dead for the last 5 years). Sean Payton looks like he’s this close to reinstating Bountygate for the hell of it, and Russell Wilson? Maybe he will survive, but yeash. I really, REALLY wanted to make this a tie game, for that is how my Greatest Game should go. But that would mean I have to pick the Bears to cover, and I can’t. I say it is 13-10 Bears with 1:20 to go, and Fields throws a Pick-6 to let the Broncos take this game. For it is …. The Greatest Game of All Time.

LV (+5.5) cover LAC | Chargers 37, Raiders 35

For this game, always take the underdog to cover/win, no matter who it is, and always take the over, cause Raiders/Chargers games will always be wild.

SF (-14) over ARI | Niners 31, Cards 14

I will give the Cards this. I thought they might be the first 0-17 team, and yet even tho they have blown some games, they have shown more fight with their new coach and QB than they have with their old coach and QB. Not bad. That being said, they are facing one of the best teams in the NFL in the Niners and BIG COCK BROCK. Also, sorry to the Cardinals, but I have to say this for the next game.

DAL (-6.5) over NE | Cowboys 30, Patriots 21

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU LOST TO THE FUCKING CARDINALS LAST WEEK COWBOYS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*Ahem* Now that I got that out of the way. Mac Jones stinks, and I hope he continues to torment Patriots fans with his mid, as they needed a bad QB for quite some time to come back down to Earth.

KC (-9.5) over NYJ | Chiefs 27, Jets 10

Which is gonna piss off Jets fans more this week: Zach Wilson, or the number of times that NBC is gonna focus on/talk about Taylor Swift through the whole game? Cause it might be Zach Wilson for just the Jets’ players alone, as they are fed up with him and their coach defending him. Welcome to Hell.

SEA (+1) over NYG | Seahawks 29, Giants 24

Don’t be fooled, this could be a very good football game. Sure, the Giants haven’t looked all too good the 1st 3 weeks, and the Seahawks seemed to have figured it out after being rolled over by the Rams in Week 1. But this I believe should still be a good one. Both teams were in the playoffs last year, and will do whatever to win in this MNF game. I will say that the NFL really needs to stop giving us Back-2-Back primetime games in the Meadowlands. At least until the Jets actually find a real QB.

Last Week: 12-4

Overall Record: 27-21

It feels good to be back. It’s finally NFL season once more, and I’m not gonna lie. I’m finally in a writing mood to make this thing happen. I been trying to get back to it, but work has, once again, taken over my life, and I don’t know how much I will post on here at the given time (cause they are too fucking cheap to hire anyone to help cover a shift). But, I will try to find the time hopefully soon, and start to post more on here, and not just about football. I have one that I really want to talk about, so it might be coming sooner than you think.

Anyway, we are back on the football grind, and …. wait, what’s this? MY TEAM is the opening game? THE LIONS?! Against the Super Bowl champs? WTF IS THIS REALITY?! Yes, it seems surreal that the Lions are the kickoff to the NFL Season, along with every media member’s favorite dickrider QB, Patrick Mahomes, but that’s how much the expectations of the Lions this year have been shot up. They are the favorite to win the NFC North this year, so why not showcase them in the 1st game vs. the Chiefs? Sure, Bears fans think their “2023 NFL MVP and Super Bowl Winner” Fields should’ve been it, but oh well. You get your shot in 2 weeks. I’ll give the line for this game later, but for now, it’s time I get to the predictions for this 2023 season. It’s gonna be a wild ride, and I don’t know how it will play out, as last year showed, so let’s get this going, shall we?

AFC

AFC East

Buffalo: 11-6

Miami: 9-8

New England: 7-10

NY Jets: 6-11

So this should be fun. Aaron Rodgers is now with the Jets, and he brought some friends from Green Bay with him (along with Cook from Minny), and he is gonna be in a stacked league led by Josh Allen and the Bills, Tua and the Fins, and Old Bill and the Patriots. It will be interesting to see how this unfolds. Now, you might be wondering why I have the Jets in last with Rodgers? Go look at their first 8 games. That’s why. That is a murderer’s row they got, and while the Broncos I believe aren’t gonna be tough, they pissed them off this offseason with their comments about them. Whoops. If they survive that, they should be able to contend. That is, if 40 YO Rodgers still has it. The rest is chalk. This is still the Bills’ division, but we need to see how they do in the postseason, as they keep failing there. The Fins’ hopes and dreams all rest on if Tua still has any brain matter left in him. And while the Patriots should have a top defense, they are still led by Mac Jones and a terrible offense. Fun division, hard schedule, but should make for a good year of football.

AFC North

Bengals: 11-6

Steelers: 10-7

Ravens: 8-9

Browns: 7-10

Could this be the most competitive division in the league? We’ll see. It’s interesting to see that alot of these teams here could actually compete for the top spot. Yes, that includes the Browns. I know, it’s weird saying that, but they do got alot of talent on that team that can compete. The main question of course is how Watson will look. Last year, he looked like a bum (in more ways than one). So if he’s at least above average with the offense and defense they have, North teams better look out. The Ravens finally signed Lamar to that contract, but at what cost. They still should be good, but I do believe the Bengals and Steelers have surpassed them. The Bengals should be top dog, err, cat, again, but watch out for the Steelers. Alot rest on Kenny Pickett’s shoulders, but TJ Watt being healthy helps this team immensely, and you know how Tomlin doesn’t finish below .500. The schedule for all the teams is pretty mediocre, so we could see many wins here for the North teams.

AFC South

Jacksonville: 9-8

Tennessee: 7-10

Houston: 5-12

Indianapolis: 3-14

Uggggh, do I really have to talk about the AFC South? Fine. The schedule for the South is not pretty, and while I do think Jacksonville will be the winners, that may be by default. I think they are still a year away from really competing, so Jags fans can be happy with their on-coming future. The Titans, not so much. This is a team that wants to compete, but with many pieces that scream “LOL No”. Their window is closing rapidly, and it may already be too late. A rebuild is definitely in the process there. Speaking of rebuilds, Houston and Indy. Houston did add some other pieces to it to make themselves better, but trusting in a 1st year Ohio State QB in CJ Stroud is a giant red flag. And then there’s the Colts. I do not see them being competitive this year, even in a shit AFC South. Richardson is gonna die on the field like all Colts QBs have the last decade, and they got a giant mess with ownership and whatnot. The Jags, congrats! You are now the poster boy of this crap division.

AFC West

Kansas City: 12-5

LA Chargers: 10-7

Denver: 6-11

Las Vegas: 4-13

As usual, this is the Chiefs’ division until proven otherwise. The Chargers being 10-7 isn’t my worst prediction (see me putting them in the Super Bowl with the Rams last year lol), but the schedule for them plays out pretty well. They could start the season 3-0 even. If they don’t Charger on the field. Denver has a new coach in good ‘ole Sean Payton, but he has his hands full, as he needs to show us that Russell Wilson isn’t washed up. If he isn’t, I can see them being better than last year, especially with that defense. If it’s the same, expect more Patrick Star memes. Also not helping is losing two of their best WRs already. Ouch. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RAIDERS I expect ….. to be shit. I can’t see them getting better with Jimmy G, and not improving on an already bad defense. It’s gonna be a long season for Vegas. Just keep Jimmy away from all the Vegas women, Raiders.

Playoff teams: Chiefs, Bills, Bengals, Jags, Steelers, Chargers, Fins

NFC

NFC East

Philadelphia: 13-4

Dallas: 10-7

NY Giants: 9-8

Washington: 4-13

I really hate to say it, cause it pains my soul to do so, but …… I think the Eagles are the best team in the NFL right now. They added a bunch to their already good roster, and got some dudes back as well. They drafted great as well, and being led by Hurts, I think they aren’t gonna be beat on many days. Sure, you still have the Cowboys and Giants here, after what they did last year. There is no Zeke for the Boys anymore, and now they have Trey Lance, which could he take over if Dak doesn’t live up to the hype (again)? Ehhhhhh, probably not. The Giants still have a great defense with some pretty good talent on offense. Sure, you didn’t pay Saquon, and instead gave Daniel Jones $40 mill per year. No biggie. Either way, I can see these two teams fighting for a Wild Card spot, and they can go either way with how they end up below the Iggles. The biggest winner in the division though? The Commies! Only cause they are FINALLY free from the reign of Dan Snyder. No, I don’t think they are gonna compete whatsoever this year with anyone, with Howell leading the way. But hey, the future may be bright, I guess.

NFC North

Detroit: 10-7

Minnesota: 8-9

Green Bay: 8-9

Chicago: 5-11

Is this what it’s like to have hope? To have dreams? To be at the top? Well, we are about to find out for the Lions, as they are the favorites to win the NFC North this year. After going 5-1 in the division, even against a Vikings team that won 13 games, they will face squads that will be alot different than before. The Lions actually did improve by getting some free agents on defense that should help, along with getting Tracy Walker back. Plus, they got Montgomery from the Bears, as he should help that RB game. Sure, Williams is out for 6 games, cause the NFL is stupid in policing things, but we’re used to this. The Packers and Vikings lost alot from their teams. No more Rodgers for the Pack, and the Vikings lost Cook and many on defense. But they still got Jefferson on their team to make big plays, and the Packers will be looking to see if Love can continue a tradition of Packers QB succeeding. Plus, they both still got talent on their sides, so it won’t be too bad. The Bears though? They will be bad. Bears fan need a reality check in the worst way, esp. when they finished with a top 3 draft pick, and think they are gonna compete. Maybe they should have Fields learn to throw to his own teammates first before thinking they are Super Bowl-bound. And no, their defense still stinks, and they still have no O-Line to protect Fields. But please, post more highlights of Fields running for a 70-yard touchdown, as he cuts the other team’s lead down to 24 points, Bears Twitter account.

NFC South

New Orleans: 8-9

Atlanta: 7-10

Tampa Bay: 5-12

Carolina: 5-12

Wait, we have a mediocre South division that I believe will produce no teams that won’t finish above .500. AND IT’S NOT THE AFC SOUTH?! *GASP* Yes, I feel this is the weakest division in the league, as even the AFC South has Jacksonville. This? I have no feeling anywhere that any of these teams will be good. New Orleans is my default team for the winner here, as they probably have the most there. Derek Carr is now, unironically, the best QB in this division, but it’s not saying much. The rest of the team is kinda a mess, and Dennis Allen is a coach many Saints fans wanted gone last year, but still has free reign on this team. Atlanta, I seen some say might be a surprise pick to win and shock some, but do you really believe that? Depending on how Desmond Ridder plays, that offense could score 30 points/game, while its defense gives up 35 per game. The Falcons also still have Falconing in play, which …. yeah. The Bucs were a mess last year with Brady, and this year are still a mess, but with 2 QBs in Mayfield and Trask that you can’t really tell the difference in who’s better. From what I heard/been seeing with the Panthers, it is not looking good either for them. They do got Bryce Young now, which is a plus, and hoping that he can be good in this league. But I don’t see them going anywhere with Frank Reich right now, especially with how he sucked in Indy. Sorry, there’s not alot more I can say about this division that isn’t filled with mediocrity.

NFC West

San Francisco: 12-5

Seattle: 10-7

LA Rams: 7-10

Arizona: 2-15

Are you ready for the terror that will fall on you that is …. BIG COCK BROCK?! That is, if his arm is functional. Brock Purdy came out of nowhere last year, literally, to take over the 49ers, and almost led them to the Super Bowl, until the Eagles broke him (and the other QBs). Yes, we still don’t know much about him given his sample size, but he did just enough to guide this team last year. And quite frankly, that’s all they need as well this year, as both sides of their units are loaded, and they will compete with the Eagles over who will be #1 in the NFC this year. As long as they don’t have to rely on kicking, but that’s another story. Then there are the Seahawks, who are also loaded with talent. Geno Smith is a success story for how he looked done, but Pete Carroll somehow rejuvenized his career. He has a whole fleece of talent on offense that should help him, and given that their defense is pretty good, I can expect them to put up a fight with the Niners. The Rams are in a weird spot right now. Stafford is back, but this team feels like they fell off the cliff after hitting the peak. Donald is still there, they do got some talent. But can they stay healthy? Kupp is already injured, and be out for a bit. I can see them, if everything goes right, winning 10 games, and also losing 12 games for how poorly it can get. And then there’s the Cardinals. There are no other words to describe them: It’s a full-on tank for them. Kyler might not be ready to play till late season, or even play at all. They give up one of their best players cause he was too expensive to trade, and another one for barely a nickel. The 2 QBs they have would barely be starters in the USFL, and their defense is gonna be dogshit. Hell, I think giving them 2 wins may be too much. Could this be our 1st 0-17 team? Stick around to find out!

Playoff teams: Eagles, Niners, Lions, Saints, Cowboys, Seahawks, Giants

Super Bowl Prediction

Until something changes, I think we get an Eagles/Chiefs re-match. Yes, the Niners should be good, and the Bengals will be wanting revenge on the Chiefs. But for now, these are the two best teams in the league, and I think the Eagles get it this time.

Now that my predictions are done, it’s time to get to some Week 1 picks

DET (+4.5) cover KC | Chiefs 28, Lions 24

So I make these picks as I write this stuff down or earlier in the day. You know the drill. Here, I have the Chiefs winning, but Lions covering. So of course, as I already wrote this out, the news comes out that Travis Kelce is out for the game. Along with Chris Jones being out for wanting a raise, this is looking better for the Lions tonight. We’ll see how it plays out.

WAS (-7) over ARI | Commies 23, Cards 10

It’s only week 1, and we already have a STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!! These teams are gonna be shit, and it’s gonna be shit.

NO (-3) over TEN | Saints 23, Titans 19

After all I said about the NFC South, and I already giving the Saints a win lol. To be fair, it is at home, and I don’t trust the Titans in the Superdome.

PIT (+2.5) cover SF | Niners 28, Steelers 27

CIN (-2.5) over CLE | Bengals 27, Browns 23

Maybe two of the best games on Sunday, with 3 involving AFC North teams. Cincy/Cleveland hate each other, so there will be no love-loss there. PIT/SF has teams with some of the best defenses in the league, going up against 2nd-year QBs who have some hype to them. It should make for two great games.

HOU (+10) cover BAL | Ravens 31, Texans 24

Do I believe the Texans won’t be good this year? Yes. Do I believe that the Ravens shouldn’t be 10-point favorites over anyone, until they can prove they won’t blow it stupidly like they done the last couple years? Also yes.

ATL (-3.5) over CAR | Falcons 33, Panthers 27

MIN (-5.5) over TB | Vikings 23, Bucs 14

JAX (-5) over IND | Jags 30, Colts 15

Two 5-point favorites facing teams that I think are gonna be bad. The thrill of being right, and the disappointment when the teams lose to them is real.

PHI (-4) over NE | Eagles 27, Patriots 17

It’s only been 5 years since the Eagles beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, and one of these teams is looking to go back to that glory once more. The other is hoping Bill O’ Brien is better at offense than the fat duo of Patricia/Judge were.

LAC (-3) over MIA | Chargers 34, Fins 30

Would it not surprise you if this game in Week 1 has playoff ramifications at the end of the year? Both are teams that did make the playoffs last season, and both want to go back. So it’s not surprising that this could be a big game. It’s also not surprising that I am going with a high amount of points, cause it’s the Chargers way.

DEN (-3.5) over LV | Broncos 20, Raiders 13

Broncos fans, let’s ride! …. all over the Raiders’ hopes and ambitions.

LAR (+5.5) cover SEA | Seahawks 29, Rams 26

This might be surprising, but like in the last regular season game of last season, I think the Rams keep this close throughout. Except they have Stafford leading the way and not Baker. Sure, losing Kupp hurts, but never underestimate a rivalry, as the Rams/Seahawks is still a big rivalry between them.

GB (+1) over CHI | Packers 31, Bears 28

The Lions are 10-10 vs. the Packers in the last decade. The Vikings are 8-10-2 against the Packers the last decade. Why do I bring this up? Because the Bears have only 3 wins total vs. the Packers the last decade. THREE!!! Until proven otherwise, the Packers still own the Bears.

NYG (+3.5) over DAL | Giants 24, Cowboys 21

This is my Upset of the Week, based on spreads. As I said above, I think these teams are basically even, and you can put them in whatever order behind the Eagles. Now, why do I have the Giants here? Cause it’s a home game, and I think they are underestimating the Giants here, giving the Cowboys the favorite tag. I may be wrong, as the Cowboys did beat them here last here with Cooper Rush, so who knows. Just a gut feeling.

BUF (-2.5) over NYJ | Bills 24, Jets 17

It is the start of the Aaron Rodgers era in New York, and maybe, for the sanity of Jetties fans, the start of something good. Personally, I don’t care if he succeeds or fails as a Jet. As long as he is gone from my division, I’m happy for that. He’s your problem now, AFC East. That being said, I still have Josh Allen in this one, cause you don’t know what you’ll get with a 40 YO QB.

Those are my picks. Those are my predictions for the season. Let’s have a fun 2023 season this year, everyone!

Last Year’s Regular Season Record: 136-135

It’s here again, my favorite time of year. It’s NCAA Tourney time, and I’m so glad it is here. After 5 months of games, upsets, buzzer-beaters, and all the action in-between (not that type of action, Alabama), the bracket has been made, and it’s time to see who you got here to go head-to-head with Stacy in accounting, who will get a better bracket than you based on “Her favorite colors”. Ok, maybe I’m being too blunt, but this is a fun time for me. I didn’t do this last year, which bummed me out, cause I like to do this. Sure, I may not get it right like, 95% of the time. But that’s the beauty of March Madness. If it was predictable, we wouldn’t have St. Peter’s last year, or UMBC happen, or all the other stuff go down through the history of this tournament. That is what makes it my favorite time of year, as these 4 crazy days of 1st and 2nd round action, along with the Sweet 16, Elite 8, and Final 4 go to a fun 3 weeks of action.

Anyway, here is the full bracket to show you what we have this season.

I will break down each region, who I like, the best games, upsets, and whatnot from them all. Again, I’m probably not gonna get this right, but who cares. Enjoy the games.

South Region

Top 4 teams in the regions

The #1 overall team in this region is Alabama, and for good reason. They dominated the regular season and SEC, and all their losses are to tourney teams. They have some great players on their team, led by Brandon Miller, and it seems like they are pretty much unstoppable at the moment. However, controversy has followed them ever since one of their former teammates had an ex be murdered on campus, and Miller was the one to give the gun to said teammate. While the police did find him not to be charged of any wrongdoings, the NCAA also didn’t suspend him, and they have given suspensions to lesser crimes. So yeah, this might still linger over them for the time being, and if it cost them, oh well lol.

But moving on. The other top teams in this bracket include Arizona, one of the best Pac-12 teams in a very down year for the league, led by Azuolas Tubelis, as they love to play a fast-paced offense. Baylor, even with losing alot last year, is back again as a top seed, as LJ Cyrer and Keyonte George lead an offensive charge. Virginia is back as a top 4 seed, and once again, they are led by defense. This team won’t outscore you, but they can shut you down.

Other top teams in the bracket

Perennial Mountain West powerhouse San Diego State is back again, and like Virginia, they beat you with defense. It’s been that way for awhile, but they still got the MW PotY in Matt Bradley to guide them. Creighton is a 6-seed, but watch out for them. They had some losses along the way, but that was due to injuries. They are now mostly healthy, and as they’re led by Ryan Kalkbrenner and crew, they can cause some chaos. Mizzou is back in the tournament, led by 1st year coach Dennis Gates. They may not play any defense, but they can put up 85+ points easily, even on good defenses. Maryland and West Virginia are the 8 and 9 seeds, and while they have their issues (Maryland not winning away from home, WVU being beat up in the Big 12), they have beaten some top teams, and will be an issue for Alabama.

Lower seeded teams who can go to the Sweet 16

Charleston and Furman. Charleston has only 3 losses, and has been ranked this year. Sure, they got San Diego State in the 1st round, but SDSU goes by defense and wanting to make you shoot 3’s at the end of the shot clock. Guess what tho? Charleston shoots 3’s. A ton of them. 47% of their shots on the year have been 3’s. Sure, they may not all go down, but if they go 12-30 on 3’s, that’s still an advantage to them. While Furman can hit you from the paint badly, and do-it-all-man Jalen Slawson can take over a game. Plus, Furman finally gets their chance this year after last year ended with that disappointment in the SoCon tourney. Also, Virginia has gotten upsetted before in the 1st-round hehe.

Best Game in the 1st round

Missouri vs. Utah State. I told you how Mizzou loves to put up points. Guess who also does? Utah State. People will remember USU’s coach, as Ryan Odom from UMBC fame is leading them now, and they can score on people. They hit almost 40% from 3, has a top-15 adjusted offense, and seeing as how they been playing, we could get a score in the 90’s with both. And look out for SDSU vs. Creighton, as mentioned above. A battle of different styles.

Best Potential 2nd Round Game

Creighton vs. Baylor should be an Elite 8 game, as both teams have been ranked in the top 10 this season. Quite frankly, they both can make the Elite 8, maybe more, with all that talent. If they both make it, they will be a problem for both Arizona and Alabama.

My Pick for this Region

Alabama. Despite all the “stuff” happening around this program, they have looked the most unbeatable this year. I believe Brandon Miller and co. will beat Arizona in the Elite 8, and go to the Final Four.

Midwest Region

Top 4 teams in this region

God, this might be my favorite region of them all. Houston is the #1 seed, and got 1 of their 3 losses in the ‘MURICAN Championship recently (another one of their losses? Alabama.) They shut you down with defense, and have 5 players who score 10 or more points. BUT, their best player, Marcus Sasser, went down in the Semifinals of the conference tournament with a groin injury, and if he can’t go, it opens up for others in this region. Like, for example, next year’s Big 12 foe Texas. They had a controversy earlier this year with their coach Chris Beard, fired him, and somehow, look better now. Marcus Carr leads this psychical team, and even tho they aren’t as good as they are at home, it didn’t stop them in the Big 12 tournament. Xavier lost one of their best players in Zach Freemantle for the year, and even then, that loss didn’t stop them in the tough Big East. Souley Boum leads this team, and is one of two players who hit 40% or better from 3. The 4 seed is Indiana, and they are lead by maybe the Big 10’s best player in Trayce Jackson-Davis, a skinny center who can do it all. They have looked funky at times, but they also have swept Purdue this season, and can score/defend with the best of them. The top 4 seeds in this region are legit.

Other top teams in the bracket

I say they’re legit, and yet there’s more to this bracket. Miami is a 5 seed, co-championed the ACC regular season title, and also have the ACC PotY in Isaiah Wong. Iowa State has been up-and-down, but they are lead by their top 10 defense, and has beaten Kansas, Texas, K-State, and Baylor twice. Texas A&M beat Alabama, was 2nd in the SEC, and with Wade Taylor IV leading the way, look like they could be an Elite 8 team. Iowa and Auburn are 8 & 9 seeds, and can beat any given team on any night with their different styles (Iowa with their fast-paced offense, Auburn with their slow-it-down defense). Hell, I haven’t mentioned what might be the hottest team in the NCAAs right now: 10 seed Penn State, who clawed their way into the tourney with wins over Indiana (x2), Northwestern (x2), Maryland, and almost beat Purdue in the B1G tournament championship. Led by Jalen Pickett, they earned it.

Lower seeded teams who can go to the Sweet 16

Didn’t I say I love this region? I already mentioned Penn State. Pittsburgh is the 11 seed, was at the top of the ACC for most of the year, and can beat any team on any night. Missouri Valley champ Drake is a sleeper, as they can hit 3’s, play defense, not turn it over, and as being led by the coach’s son, Tucker DeVries, could cause damage to people’s brackets. Kent State is a 13 seed here, and shouldn’t be overlooked. They just beat a team who had a 17-game winning streak in their tournament final, hung with Gonzaga and Houston on the road for most of those games, and can have the game taken over by their star, Sincere Carry. Hell, don’t overlook 15 seed Colgate. I actually think they got underseeded here (I think they should be a 13 seed), and is the best 3-point shooting team, percentage wise, in the whole tourney. If they get hot from there, look out.

Best Game in the 1st round

Take your pick. PSU/A&M looks like the clear choice, as both are hot teams, and can make a deep tournament run. Drake/Miami is that classic 12 vs. 5 matchup that could be an upset, and Drake has the goods to do so. Kent State/Indiana will be fun to see with Carry vs. TJD. Auburn/Iowa could be fun, cause even tho Auburn hasn’t played good recently, they will be backed by a mostly Auburn crowd in Birmingham. And as said, look out for Colgate and their 3-point shooting. 15 seeds have been feisty the last couple years, and they could be said team this year.

Best Potential 2nd Round Game

Again, this region. Houston is gonna have their hands full with Iowa/Auburn, especially if Sasser can’t go. Texas A&M vs Texas would be the rivalry we want, but Penn State/Texas would also be fun. If Xavier goes on, they could be met by either Pitt or Iowa State, both hard matchups. Hell, we might see a Miami/IU 2nd-round battle. Or a Kent State/Drake fight. This region is fun, no matter what.

My Pick for this Region

I really don’t know. Any of these teams can make a fun to the Final 4, and it wouldn’t surprise me. As much as Houston has played well, if Sasser can’t go, that hurts them. Right now, I think I like Indiana the most. Oh god, it hurts to say that. And yet, even so, they have played well at times to beat the good teams. But Xavier and Texas look good as well. I’m definitely gonna change this before the tourney starts.

West Region

Top 4 teams in this region

Kansas is once again, back on top with a top seed. The defending champs did lose some games this year, including the Big 12 tournament championship, and that was without Bill Self, who was in the hospital during it. Even so, they are still the top team in this region, led by Jalen Wilson and Gradey Dick. UCLA is the 2 seed, and has basically everyone back that was around for the 2021 Final 4 run. Jaime Jaquez Jr., Tyger Campbell, and co. are looking for another run here, but losing Jaylen Clark, their best defensive player, for the rest of the year, is gonna hurt. Gonzaga is once again elite, and looking for their 1st championship. Drew Timme and Julian Strawther are hoping this is finally their year. Connecticut is also back, and look like a true contender. Led by Adama Sanogo, they are top 15 in both offense and defense, and even tho they lost some in the Big East, when they win this year, they usually win BIG.

Other top teams in the bracket

Probably my dark horse in this tournament is 6 seed TCU. They got impacted by injuries late in the season, as it effected Mike Miles Jr. Sure, they’re one of worst 3-point shooting teams in the nation. Even so, when they’re on and healthy, they are dangerous. Just ask Kansas how they did in Allen Fieldhouse. Saint Mary’s had one of their best seasons, and with a top 15 defense, and slow-ass offense, they can cause teams trouble. Look who is back in the tournament for the 2nd time: Northwestern! These cats were picked to finished 2nd-to-last in the Big Ten. Instead, they finished in 2nd place. Led by Boo Buie and Chase Audige, they can take over if you’re not ready for them. Then there’s Illinois and Arkansas, the 9 and 8 seeds, respectively. They underperformed in their leagues, and were inconsistent. Even so, they are both talented teams who were ranked highly to start the season, and have the potential to give Kansas fits, no matter who wins it.

Lower seeded teams who can go to the Sweet 16

Just 3 here for me. Boise State is the 10 seed, but they are not a pushover. Led by another coach’s son, Max Rice, he’s one of 5 players to average 10 or more points on the team, and has beaten SDSU and Texas A&M. VCU is back again, and if you don’t remember, they had a COVID issue in their last appearance in 2021, and couldn’t play in their tourney game. They will be itching to cause HAVOC once more, as they are back to turning teams over again, and scoring their points off them. The last one here for me is Iona. In what is most likely Rick Pitino’s last game here, he has a team that is on a 14-game winning streak, has some great players led by Walter Clayton Jr., and if you aren’t careful, they might show up for some 15 seconds of fame. Ok, I couldn’t resist that joke.

Best Game in the 1st round

Illinois vs. Arkansas. As I said above, these teams are inconsistent, but incredibly talented that they can cause fits to Kansas. Hell, Illinois themselves beat the 2 seed in this region earlier this season, so yes, they are capable. VCU/St. Mary’s is the classic 12 vs. 5 battle, and Iona/UConn can be fun with the Pitino Factor. But look out for Grand Canyon/Gonzaga and UNC Ashville/UCLA. Bryce Drew coaches GCU, and they hit almost 40% from 3. While UNC Ashville has a DUDE in Drew Pember. He averages 21 PPG, almost 10 RPG, and is a big guy who can hit 3’s. Watch out, UCLA.

Best Potential 2nd Round Game

I already said Kansas vs. their 8/9 foes, so why not mention this one instead? TCU vs. Gonzaga could be an epic showdown, as Gonzaga has all their talent, and TCU can beat anyone. I think whoever wins that game goes to the Elite 8, and maybe more. Also, look out for a potential UCLA vs. NW/Boise State game. With Clark out, that could be a problem for them.

My Pick for this Region

I didn’t mention them much, and gave TCU all the love. And even tho I have the Hypnotoads in the Elite 8, I think they get stopped by one team: UConn. I really like Connecticut here, and think they are set up for another big tournament run that they had in the past. I don’t think they’re gonna win by 20 or so points like they have before, but I really like their chances vs. the rest of the field.

East Region

Top 4 teams in this region

In the last region, we got Purdue leading the race here, as they are trying to get their 1st Final Four since 1980. They are led by the literal tank of a human that is Zach Edey, a 7’4″ 290 lb dude who, even if you double or triple team him, he can still score over your team cause of how massive he is (trust me, I seen him destroy my team. Twice.) But if you try to stop him, you will have to deal with his teammates, who all can hit from 3, like a Matt Painter team does. They did lose some near the end, cause after Edey, their team is pretty young. Marquette might be the story of the year, going from picked near the bottom of the Big East, to being regular season/tournament champs of their league, and a 2 seed, to boot. Led by Tyler Kolek, they are an offensive machine, and can turn you over like no tomorrow. Kansas State is the 3 seed, and are an emotional team led by their coach Jerome Tang. But more than that, the successful comeback of Keyontae Johnson after he was gone from basketball for two years after nearly dying on the court is still the best story of the year. Him and Markquis Nowell make a powerful duo. And then there’s Tennessee. The Vols won’t beat you with their offense, especially since they lost their PG Zakai Zeigler to an ACL injury. But, they are a top 5 defensive team, and can shut down your 3-point shooting with ease. It will be a rock fight with them.

Other top teams in the bracket

Just look at all the teams seeded 5-8 here. Duke is the 5 seed, and didn’t look like much of a threat in the middle of the season. But they have gotten healthy and have won 8 straight, including the conference tournament, albeit in a weak ACC. Even so, they are a darkhorse by many to reach the Elite 8/Final 4 (And by “many”, I mean ESPN.) Kentucky is funny, cause they are a 6 seed, and even then, I haven’t seen much talked about them doing anything in the tourney. And yet, they are still led by Oscar Tshiebwe and his double-double maintenance. If his other teammates can stay healthy, they can be a factor. Michigan State is back again for the 25th straight year under Izzo, and you know how they are in March. They have one of the best 3-point shooting teams, percentage wise, but they have been inconsistent, especially on offense. Still, this is a team that has beaten Kentucky, Indiana, Penn State on the road, and hung with Gonzaga and Purdue, so you know they’ll be dangerous. Memphis being a 8 seed might cause problems for Purdue, because they are hitting on all cylinders right now. Their duo of Kendric Davis and DeAndre Williams scored 68 points total in the ‘MURICAN tournament quarterfinals, and beat Houston in the championship (and almost beat them a week earlier.) They are someone no top teams want to see.

Lower seeded teams who can go to the Sweet 16

Oral Roberts. Remember them? 2 years ago, they made the Sweet 16 as a 15 seed. They are back again with Max Abmas, and might be even better than that team. They literally dominated the Summit League, have won 18-straight, and even if you stop Abmas, you will have to contend with the rest of his mates who are an offensive powerhouse. There’s also Florida Atlantic, one of the best stories of the year. I know I gave Memphis praise, but don’t count out the 9 seed Owls. They won 31 games, won 20-straight at one point, shoot at good as any team out there, and will be a tough out for anybody. USC is the 10 seed, and while they don’t have many good wins outside of UCLA, they are still led by Boogie Ellis, who’s 18 PPG can take over. Providence is a funky 11 seed, because it seems like they should be higher than that, given they were ranked in the top 25 for most of the season. They may not play defense as well as other Ed Cooley-coached teams have, but they still have wins over UConn and Marquette. To close, a shoutout to Vermont, as they are the 15 seed, and while I don’t think they have the firepower to stop Marquette, they have been a perennial tournament team for years, so they will get that win someday.

Best Game in the 1st round

Oral Roberts/Duke. There is no question about it for me. Hell, this is my marquee game of the 1st round. Seeing the Duke team led by Jeremy Roach and Kyle Filipowski take on the Abmas-led team is gonna be a thrill, and I can’t wait to see it. Memphis/Fla. Atlantic is gonna be interesting, cause I really think both teams can give Purdue a challenge, which I’ll get to in a second. USC/MSU is funny, cause it’s gonna be a future battle in the Big 10, and Kentucky/Providence is a battle of teams that have been ranked this year, so expect a close game between them.

Best Potential 2nd Round Game

Memphis/Purdue. I am gonna make a bold prediction. I think this will be Purdue’s hardest game to face, if they meet up. Purdue does have Edey, but they also have a young core around him, and seeing how Memphis has played recently, I can actually see them upset Purdue here with their own talent. Yes, they have to get by FAU first, but even so, watch out for this potential match. Kansas State facing the winner of UK/Providence would be fun, and a potential MSU/Marquette matchup has the makings of a good 2nd-round fight.

My Pick for this Region

I’m going with Marquette. Even if Purdue makes the Elite 8, there’s always something that prevents them from making the Final Four, and has for 40+ years now. Right now, I think Marquette is just better, and I think it will be them coming out of this region, doing something the school hasn’t seen since the Dwyane Wade days.

Final Four/Championship Picks

My Final Four is Alabama vs. Marquette, and Indiana vs. Connecticut. Out of the first one, I like Alabama to take down Marquette, and I think that would be a 90+ point offensive total for both teams to eclipse. For UConn and IU, I like the Huskies more than the Hoosiers. That defense can shut TJD down, and I think they win it by 10+. For the championship game between Bama and UConn, UConn beat Bama earlier in the season. And quite frankly, I think they do it again. It should be closer this time, but overall, I really do like UConn in the tourney. That’s my pick, my 2023 champions are the Connecticut Huskies.

And now, cause I’m done with the Men’s bracket, I’m about to do something I have never done before. I’m gonna give a full, in-depth take on the Women’s tournament as well. Are you ready?

Here it is

2023 NCAA Women’s Tournament: Analyst, Predictions, and Picks

Just take South Carolina or UConn lol

This has been an interesting NFL Playoffs. To the 1st week of close games. To the Chargers Chargering like they never Charger’d before. To Brock Prudy being a household name, then going out for 6 months cause of an unfortunate hit. To the Bengals winning vs. Buffalo, then all of their fans claiming Arrowhead as their own, only to fuck around and find out. To refball being at its worse with the Conference Championship games, only for you-know-who to say “Nah, it’s fine”. To this anticipated match-up between the best teams we saw all season in the NFL. It makes for great content, even if we have to hear the Kelce brothers are facing each other for the millionth time already.

Well, it’s here. The final day of the 2022 NFL season. Let’s have a fun time

Super Bowl LVII, Glendale, AZ

Kansas City Chiefs vs. Philadelphia Eagles, 6:30 PM ET Fox

Line: PHI (-1.5)

So here we are. The two best teams in the NFL meeting in the biggest game of the year. And with (hopefully) both QBs healthy, it should be fun

Chiefs Offense vs. Eagles Defense

This is what you want to see. Patrick Mahomes looks to be healthy, and he should have some fun with Travis Kelce, JuJu, Marquez Valdes-Scantling and co. should have this offense in all its glory go out in this game. But this also may be their toughest test. They’re going against an Eagles defense that, while at times they have given up some points, they are very brutal and tough to beat. Their secondary is led by CB Darius Slay and his linebackers, making it tough to pass on them. But, it’s even tougher when facing a D-Line that has 70 sacks this year, lead by Brandon Graham, Fletcher Cox and many others, with 4 of the D-Lineman having 10 or more sacks. It should be interesting how Mahomes handles this, esp. with his ankle injury he got a few weeks ago. They said he’s ok, and he still is making his plays, but this Eagles defense is gonna be a challenge. I would give the edge to the Eagles, but you just never know with Mahomes.

Eagles Offense vs. Chiefs Defense

Now this is gonna be not as even for me. As much as the Chiefs have been playing better, and still have Frank Clark, Willie Gay, Chris Jones and others, this Eagles offense may be better than Mahomes and co. by a mile. Led by Jalen Hurts, you can have him choose who to beat ya with: The WR/TE combo of DeVonta Smith, AJ Brown, Zach Pascal, and Dallas Goedert. The RB tandem of Miles Sanders, Boston Scott, and Kenneth Gainwell. The outstanding O-Line that protects Hurts. It doesn’t help KC that a few of their secondary players, including Sneed, got hurt, and that will not help matters trying to stop this Eagles offense. I give this one to the Eagles for sure.

Coaching

Now, I’ll give them this. Nick Sirianni has done an amazing job turning around this team from the doldrums of how it ended a couple years ago, and has made this Eagles team look almost unbeatable for most of the year. Sure, some of that also helps with the talent he got with Hurts and co. But give credit where credit is due. He has been a great hire for the Eagles here. That being said, Andy Reid is still leading the Chiefs and has all the experience in the world compared to Sirianni, and is in his 3rd Super Bowl in the last 4 years. Plus, with his other playoff experience before, I can’t take Sirianni over Reid in this match-up. Sorry, Eagles fans.

Prediction

The Eagles are the favorites in this game. The Chiefs have the playoff experience. The Eagles have the explosive offense. The Chiefs still have Mahomes. My brain is telling me to go with the Eagles’ offense, as I think they could put up 5 TDs or more here. And yet, my gut tells me to take the Chiefs. And I think I am. I think Mahomes pulls another late Game-winning TD drive out his ass once more, and gives the Chiefs their 2nd Super Bowl title in 4 years

KC (+1.5) over PHI | Chiefs 31, Eagles 27

Have a good Super Bowl day, everyone. Hope we have a good game, and the ads aren’t cringe as shit. I’m joking, they will be cringe as shit.

Well, these last few days have been depressing for NFL fans, unless you’re Skip Bayless or Bart Scott. Here’s to Damar Hamlin’s continued recovery.

Saturday Games

KC (-9.5) over LV | Chiefs 34, Raiders 23

I do not care for this game. The Raiders suck, and that is that.

JAX (-6.5) over TEN | Jags 27, Titans 17

Remember 2 months ago when this seemed like it was Tennessee’s division to own, and the Jags were 2-6? Man, how times have changed. The Jags are in position to win the AFC South at home, vs. a Titans team who are playing their 3rd-string QB. Who looks like can actually throw a football, unlike Willis. Even so, the Jags have been playing lights out, including beating the Titans by 2 TDs a few weeks ago. I expect the same results here, unless Henry goes off for 250+ yards.

Sunday Games

Let’s go through the games that don’t matter first.

NYJ (+3) cover MIA | Fins 13, Jets 12

It’s Thompson vs. Flacco. A game where it matters so much for the Fins, in some way, cause they still have a slim playoff spot (remember when they were basically in at 8-3?) STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

MIN (-6) over CHI | Vikings 30, Bears 13

Ok, so the Vikings DO have something to fight for, at least for where they will be at the top of the seeding list. Even tho their team is lucky/dogshit. The Bears are starting Nathan Peterman, with a defense that can’t stop a dog with 2 legs. #1 should be in their sights.

CAR (+3.5) cover NO | Saints 20, Panthers 18

Panthers, you had your chance last week to make the world laugh at the Bucs. Then you blew it. Mostly to Mike Evans. The Saints? They somehow, someway, have a playoff shot still. But it’s so damn small, it’s the needle in the haystack metaphor. They need so much shit to go their way, that it’s almost impossible for them.

ATL (-4) over TB | Falcons 24, Bucs 17

This line is cause Vegas believes Brady and co. aren’t gonna play, since they are now in the playoffs. Gotta rest before the 1st round blowout. Still have the Falcons here, even tho they almost lost last week to Lions legend David Blough.

LAC (+3) over DEN | Chargers 26, Broncos 24

The Chargers are in the playoffs. The Broncos are still trying to cook. But it’s meth, and they made the house explode on the first attempt.

ARI (+14.5) cover SF | Niners 31, Cards 21

Is it almost over? Are we nearly done with the Cards? Can we take Kingsbury out back and tell him to look at the rabbits?

HOU (+2.5) over IND | Texans 27, Colts 23

Ok, I’m going on a mini-rant here. The Texans should win this game. They are the better team right now. Yes, it will cost them the #1 spot, but know what? That doesn’t matter. The only other team near them are the Bears with 3 wins. The Cardinals and Ponies somehow got 4 wins, and Denver’s pick is going to Seattle. So why win it here? Because the Bears already have a QB (sorta) that they are gonna be good with, so they will go with defense there. The Texans can get Bryce Young #2, and get their next future QB that they will ruin that they will develop. Besides, the Texans have been playing great the last few weeks. Other than the Jags game, they beat the Titans, and should’ve beat the Cowboys and Cheifs. They look at good as they have, and are facing a shit team, with a shit coach, with a shit owner, that has a franchise that is going to shit, with no real direction now. Show the Colts that you are better than them with this last game.

Ok, on to the games that do matter.

BUF (-7) over NE | Bills 34, Patriots 17

If the Patriots win, they are in. However, after all that happened this week, they aren’t winning this game. I don’t make the rules here.

PIT (-2.5) over CLE | Steelers 23, Browns 16

This game matters, and not just for Mike Tomlin’s on-going better than .500 record streak. The Steelers are in with a win and losses by NE and MIA. Beating the Browns for this chance makes it alot better for them, esp. for a team that started 2-6.

BAL (+9) cover CIN | Bengals 21, Ravens 17

Because of the whole thing Monday, the seeding for the #1 seed in the AFC got very complicated, and I don’t feel like going through all that shit. Just know that Cincy has been playing great, the Ravens have not, but the Ravens always make things close. I’m taking the points.

PHI (-14) over NYG | Eagles 31, Giants 14

This game wouldn’t have matter at all, if the Eagles just beat the Saints last week. Now they have to play their starters to keep the Cowboys at bay from the NFC East title, along with the Vikings and Niners for the #1 seed. The Giants got into the playoffs last week by ass-raping the Colts, hence the big spread.

DAL (-7) over WAS | Cowboys 30, Commies 17

Is there a NFL franchise any more stupid/embarrassing than the Commies? From their owner, to how they honor players, to all their actions, to their now pig mascot (great representation of our politicians, btw), to even their coach, who started Wentz last week, thinking they wouldn’t be eliminated from the playoffs that week. Which, they were. They are a laugh riot for how dumb they are, and now are starting Sam Howell in a game where the Cowboys still have playoff seeding in their minds. Good luck.

LAR (+6) cover SEA | Seahawks 29, Rams 26

DET (+4.5) over GB | Lions 31, Packers 27

The last two games that means the most for 3 teams. Here’s the scenario: The Packers are in with a win. That’s it. The Seahawks are in with a win, and a Lions win. The Lions are in with a win, and a Rams win. Meaning, they have to rely on Baker Mayfield. Welp. Even so, the Rams played well vs. the Seahawks last time, and the Seahawks have not looked that great the last month and a half. I still think they win it late.

As for the Lions/Packers? Every media member has guaranteed the Packers will win. They WANT IT to happen, so they can dick-suck Rodgers in the playoffs. Hell, Pat McAfee threw a bitch fit cause Campbell was more focused on this game than his shitty show. And yet, know who has been the best NFC North QB this year? Kirk Cousins Jared Goff. Not Rodgers. Goff. Hell, Goff has played more elite the last few games than Rodgers has, as stats back it up. I know, nothing goes right for Detroit when they go to Green Bay, esp. for the last game, when refs are involved (thank god no Clete here), and when it really matters. And yet, look at what they are fighting for now, and what Campbell has installed in this team. Even if they don’t make the playoffs themselves, they will savior the chance of knocking the Packers out of the playoffs. Believe in the Lions. This team is gonna be fun for the years to come.

Last Week: 7-8

Overall Record: 126-129

It’s been a while since I made a post. Well, here’s your Christmas present from me: A new one on Christmas Eve. YAY! Let me begin by saying this. Since my last post on Thanksgiving, I have been …. not good with these spread picks. 25-35, to be exact. However, my team has been on fire since, so I don’t really care for that (I have been doing excellent on who wins overall, so there’s that.)

Anyway, it’s Christmas, so let’s get the picks rolling!

NYJ (-2.5) over JAX

I thought Wilson looked pretty ok vs. the Lions last Sunday. This game reminded us (and Jets fans) why he is terrible.

Christmas Eve Games

ATL (+6.5) cover BAL | Ravens 20, Falcons 17

Let’s start with this: STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

NO (+3) cover CLE | Browns 24, Saints 23

Apparently, this may be the worst game of the day, since the O/U as of now is ….. 32.5. OOF. STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME!!

HOU (+3) cover TEN | Titans 17, Texans 16

So, there’s a chance the Texans might …. win this game? The last two weeks, they played exceptionally well, and not against bad teams. They really should’ve beaten the Cowboys and Chiefs. And now they got a Titans team that is gonna go with Malik Willis as Tannehill has an injury, so they could win it. You know, if Henry doesn’t run for 200+ yards like he has been doing vs. them. Again.

SEA (+10) cover KC | Chiefs 30, Seahawks 24

CHI (+8) cover BUF | Bills 27, Bears 21

Two games that I think will be covers of these pick spreads. The Seahawks were a fun story when I last made this article, but since then have come down to earth with all the young players/Geno. They should still make it a game vs. the Chiefs, who have not looked good the last few weeks. The Bears are ass, but they do play hard, and it’s gonna be fucking ugly for weather conditions. Helps the Bills played in it last week, but Fields/Allen should be fun.

DET (-2.5) over CAR | Lions 24, Panthers 18

What a great story the Lions have been. Starting 1-6, looking dead, and now they’re 6-1 since, have a realistic shot at the playoffs, and look like a team that can even overcome that SOL stuff, as they showed last week with the win vs. the Jets. The Panthers are also fighting for their playoff lives ….. in a way. They suck, but man, that whole NFC South is a dumpster fire. Even a loss here wouldn’t count them out. Should be a defensive battle here.

NYG (+4) over MIN | Giants 23, Vikings 20

That’s a nice story, Vikings. Biggest NFL comeback of all time. Securing Matt Ryan’s choking legacy. One problem: You were still down THRITY-THREE TO ZERO TO THE FUCKING COLTS!!! If this was against a team that wasn’t being coached by someone who EShitPN isn’t gonna hire back, imagine how it turn out. The Giants are better than the Colts by a mile. Upset of the Week, based on spreads.

CIN (-3) over NE | Bengals 30, Patriots 20

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PATRIOTS YOU STUPID FUCKS, HOW DO YOU LOSE LIKE THAT AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA EAT SHIT, BELICHICK AND PATRICIA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

SF (-7) over WAS | Niners 27, Commies 17

The Lions would be the hottest team in the league. If not for the Niners. They have looked unstoppable the last few weeks on defense, and Prudy is looking ok for them. This will be his toughest test so far against this Commies’ defense, that has Chase Young back. But I think the defense for the Niners takes control over Heinicke.

PHI (+5.5) cover DAL | Cowboys 31, Eagles 28

“But why? It’s Gardner Minshew against this Cowboys’ defense?” Because have you seen the Cowboys the last 2 weeks? The Texans back-up QB nearly beat them. You think Minshew doesn’t have a chance?

PIT (-2.5) over LV | Steelers 24, Raiders 20

The Raiders win last week was all well and good. And absolutely hilarious. But this is the 50th anniversary of the Immaculate Reception, and Franco Harris, the guy who caught said reception, passed away this week as his jersey number is gonna be retired. The Raiders don’t stand a chance.

Christmas Day Games

MIA (-3.5) over GB | Fins 31, Packers 23

Rodgers and Packers fans can talk shit about how they think they’re make the playoffs in the end, but consider their last 3 games left. They play a Miami team on the road, who are fighting for their playoff lives in the AFC right now, and with an offense that causes the Packers’ defense fits. Then a Vikings team that, even tho they already clinched the division, will look forward to having a shot at knocking their rivals out of the playoffs. And then the Lions, who also will savior that, while also fighting for that last playoff spot. Good luck, you fucks.

DEN (-2.5) over LAR | Broncos 17, Rams 13

“BRONCOS, WITH THEIR TERRIBLE OFFENSE LEAD BY A BACK-UP QB WHO NO ONE CAN NAME!! RAMS, WITH NO ONE YOU CAN NAME, CAUSE THEY ARE ALL INJURED TO DEATH!! ALL FIGHTING FOR A TOP DRAFT SPOT THAT IS GONNA GO TO EITHER SEATTLE OR DETROIT!! BRONCOS-RAMS!! IT’S ALL COMING UP NEXT, ON NICKELODEON!! MERRY CHRISTMAS, KIDS!!”

TB (-7.5) over ARI | Bucs 24, Cards 14

The Garbage Dump vs. the Flaming Dog Shit bag. Who do you think will win? I will go with Brady, even when he looks dead, over the absolute corpses that is Tracolt McCoyley. (This really couldn’t be flexed out of SNF?)

IND (+4.5) cover LAC | Chargers 30, Colts 28

Why take the Colts? Why after last week, and all we seen? Esp. since they are going with Nick Foles now the rest of the way? Because Chargers fans will tell you that this is game that will make them sweat it out, since it’s the Chargers. The pain is real for the team formerly from San Diego.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Last Week: 7-9

Overall Record: 113-111